"Hatter, we've missed you," said the White Rabbit. "It's been so dull around here."
"What rabbit hole have you been living in?" said the Mad Hatter. "You haven't needed me. Just read the papers or watch TV--full of conspiracy theories, no?"
"Yeah," Alice said, "I don't believe Kim and Kanye are really back together."
The Hatter smiled. "Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose." A sigh. "Anyway, I believe the defeat of the AHCA was an outcome intended."
The Rabbit perked up his ears. "Really? Trump and Ryan seemed so, um, disappointed."
"If you mean blaming each other and the wind," Hatter replies, "Yes."
"Well, blaming each other, their families, their staff, the Democrats, and the House Freedom Caucus," suggested the Rabbit. "So what gives?"
"The Affordable Care Act. Insurance to millions of Americans, young and old."
"You know me well, dear Rabbit," said the Hatter. "AND, it gives to insurance companies and their stockholders, to pharmaceutical companies and their stockholders, to healthcare organizations and hospitals, state governments, need I go on? You don't think Medicaid eligibles were the only ones who could phone a congressman?"
"True dat. I'd bet folks would be more likely to listen to the Koch brothers than my housekeeper. But I thought the 'no' votes were because the bill didn't go 'far enough' in gutting Obamacare."
"Exactly." The Hatter wagged a finger. "No question that they wanted to get rid of 'Obamacare', but not Romneycare, or Heritagecare, the first implementations of the ACA. Those conservative, Republican healthcare plans were written to benefit healthcare stakeholders such as the insurance companies, not just patients. You think Big Pharma wants to see the gold mine shuttered?"
"Will my gold necklace keep me from getting arthritis someday?" Alice asked.
"No dear," said the Hatter. "Only the fact that you live a life of luxury will protect you from overusing your muscles, including the one under your pretty locks. And, if you do get arthritis someday, your family trust will provide you with the thousands of dollars a day it will cost to get the latest pill to cure it."
"My health insurance premiums just went up," cried the Rabbit. "Why don't we have single party payer after all these years--like all the other developed countries?"
"Because of the insurance companies, the pharmaceutical companies, the healthcare organizations, stockholders, and," the Hatter smiled, "legislators and the Affordable Care Act. Crocodile tears, anyone?