Well, bless her big old “spirit of God” filled heart! The conservatives hero of heroes, the inimitable Gov. Sarah Palin has shown the wayward nation true “Christian Honesty And Spiritual Morals” (CHASM) once again.
You betcha! Just pass the collection plate on around so that I can make a contribution to bring honesty, reform, integrity and a true Christian who wants to do God’s Will to Washington in November.
The damnable liberal media -- this time, the Associated Press -- has been investigating Saint Sarah and has discovered that she has been billing the taxpayers of the State of Alaska for her children to travel with her. The bills include airfare, meals and hotel rooms around Alaska and the country. Well bless her heart. She is being a good mother. Imagine being able to spend time with your children -- quality time that is -- all paid for by the benevolent taxpayer of the State of Alaska.
Before Saint Sarah started getting scrutinized so closely, she rushed back to Juneau to make a few minor corrections to her expense reports so that they adequately reflected that her children were actually representing the State of Alaska and not just on a pleasure trip or because a reputable baby sitter couldn’t be found. (We all know what happened when one of Palin girls selected her own “baby sitter.”) The last-minute alterations were necessary because before the damnable liberal media got involved in Saint Sarah’s life, accuracy was not demanded or requested by auditors, no doubt out of fear that they would be terminated or possibly even exterminated for questioning a Junior Deity such as Sarah.
They do things a bit differently in Alaska, you know. They value family. Oh yes sir. Family is extremely important. Since Saint Sarah so benevolently agreed to pursue God’s Will and serve the needs of the lost moose and souls of Alaska, it is only natural that she should not be separated from her children. It is only fair that the taxpayer pick up the travel tab for the darling Palin children to follow their mother around the State and the country.
My friends, this is how government reform works. It is actually a very palin and simple thing. You see -- what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander. The needs of a politician -- perhaps the most maligned public servant on the face of the earth -- must always be respected no matter how corrupt those needs may appear to the average citizen. Ultimately, that means that reform is as illusive as a UFO during the summer solstice in Alaska.
Now the Executive Branch of the State of Alaska is out in the open. First, we do have the Governor. Then the First Dude. After that, the three plus Palin children. And then finally, the Lt. Governor. You betcha. It works for Alaska!
First Saint Sarah gave the nation “Troopergate.” Now she gives the nation “ChildrenTravelGate.” Next thing you know, we might discover that the “First Dude” is charging the State for the gas for his snowmobile because, after all, it is transportation on State Business. The “State Business” would be defined as it brings the Governor and the Palin Children to the starting and finishing line of all races to congratulate the winners, which is good for the State.
During an economic crisis, we must ask ourselves if we can really afford to have Saint Sarah representing the righteous few, meaning politicians, in Washington.
My friends, reform is something that we can all talk about. Our actions do not have to reflect what we spew out of our mouths.
The Old Codger has left the room.
It ain’t easy being me.