Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 35 Share on Twitter 1 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Exclusive to OpEdNews:
Life Arts    H3'ed 3/16/18

President Trump Threatens to Raise Tariffs on Fish Unless China Agrees To Import Gefilte Fish (A Satire)

By       (Page 1 of 2 pages)   1 comment
Become a Premium Member Would you like to know how many people have read this article? Or how reputable the author is? Simply sign up for a Advocate premium membership and you'll automatically see this data on every article. Plus a lot more, too.
Author 56926
Follow Me on Twitter     Message Bernard Starr
Become a Fan
  (12 fans)

It's well known that Jews love Chinese food. For many decades it has been a ritual for Jewish families to feast on Chinese cuisine on Sundays.

While Orthodox Jews who follow the Kosher laws are not happy with this practice, some have become more tolerant after a biblical scholar recently reported that a just discovered lost passage in Deuteronomy, the book of the Torah that details the do's and don'ts of Judaism, mandates the practice.

The lost passage, he said, states: "nokh Shabbos (on Sunday after the Sabbath) every Jew should eat a Chinese meal."

Unfortunately, he added, the rationale part of the passage was missing and the remaining fragment was illegible. Scholars, he said, are working with X-ray and other advanced technologies in an attempt to retrieve more details.

Meanwhile, Jared Kushner, a practicing Jew, questioned the authenticity of the document and still stands firmly opposed to the Chinese food ritual.

Furthermore, while he was studying the trade imbalance with China in preparation for the President's planned trade war, Jared made an interesting finding. While American Jews consume vast amounts of Chinese food, no Chinese person has ever been known to stop a Jew on the street of a Jewish neighborhood with the question: Where can I get a good piece of gefilte fish around here?

Thus, Jared has advised President Trump to raise tariffs on Chinese fish imports. President Trump agreed but said that he would give the Chinese an opportunity to reciprocate in trade.

At a planned dinner with Chinese President Xi Jinping he will instruct White House chefs, supervised by the chief chef at Katz's delicatessen in lower Manhattan, to prepare a main dish of sumptuous gefilte fish.

If President Jinping then agrees to import gefilte fish and make it a national dish of China, President Trump will relax the trade sanction.

Next Page  1  |  2

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).


Funny 1   Valuable 1  
Rate It | View Ratings

Bernard Starr Social Media Pages: Facebook Page       Twitter Page       Linked In Page       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Bernard Starr, PhD, is a psychologist and professor emeritus at CUNY, Brooklyn College. His screenplay "The Crucifixion of Truth" a thriller set in 16th century Italy and Spain has been optioned for a feature film or TV series by Atlantic and (more...)

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Follow Me on Twitter     Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Corporations Plan for Post-Middle-Class America

Mind Control: How Donald Trump Has Transformed Americans into Pavlov's Dogs

How Congress Became a 'Cathouse' of Prostitutes Paying Off Their Pimps

The Pandemic Disease of the 21st Century Is on the Rise

Reza Aslan: Why Aren't You a Jew?

Why Have Art Historians Been Silent About the Falsification of Biblical History in Artworks?

To View Comments or Join the Conversation: