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Poor Cohen versus Bad Ahmad: The Rise of NaZionizm

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Poor Cohen versus Bad Ahmad: The Rise of NaZionizm

Edip Yuksel

The common theme among Islamists around the world is the demise of old glory after the disintegration of the Ottoman Empire, and the Western aggression towards Muslims all around the world. I do not mourn after the demise of the Ottoman Empire; to the contrary I celebrate it. They should have gone a long time before 1923. However, I agree with their complaint regarding the second part. The Western civilization is not as humane as its propaganda machine claims to be. In fact, the West has a monstrous record. Setting aside the wars and atrocities committed by the Western powers against each other, let's briefly review the suffering of Muslim masses brought about by the Western civilization.

For instance, European states invaded, colonized and ruled most of the countries with considerable Muslim populations, such as India (including Pakistan and Bangladesh), dozens of countries in the Middle East, and most of Northern Africa, which also had a substantial Muslim population. These invasions were considered another wave of the Crusades, and Muslims fought back for their freedom and dignity. The cost of freedom in some places, such as Algiers, was horrific. However, when they thought they had won bloody wars of independence and kicked the colonialists out the door, it did not take them too long to find out that the colonialists had in fact never left their countries; they had just changed their clothes, climbed the wall and entered through the chimney. Not as Santa Clauses, but through their proxy rulers; almost invariably corrupt and despotic. Middle Eastern countries ended up with ruthless kings and monarchs in cahoots with their master Western powers. Colonists succeeded in drawing artificial borders that served their geopolitical interests. They planted and crowned their puppets as kings, presidents, etc.

Then, when Germany, a predominantly Christian nation, committed genocide against the Jews and massacred them in big numbers, the West granted the surviving Jews of the world a land, not in Germany, not in Italy, not in Russia, or in any other European country with a big Jewish population. No, they carved out a land inhabited by Palestinians. After their horrific experience in Europe, with the help of the UN, the Jews declared the land-grab justice and baptized it as international law. Here is what happened in a parallel cartoon universe:

-       Ouch! Help me, help me; Shultz is trying to take my seat.

-       What?

-       Ouch! Help me, help me; Shultz is bullying me!

-       What are you mumbling Cohen? I do not understand you!

-       Ouch! Help me, help me! Shultz is kicking me and slapping me!

-       What?

-       Ouch! Help! Help! Help! Shultz is out of control. He is now throwing the books around!

-       Shultz stop throwing the books around; it almost hit me. Hey Cohen, did Schultz take your seat?

-       Yes, teacher, Schultz took my seat. He is now sitting on both seats. He also slapped me in the neck and kicked me in the back.

-       Schultz is a bully, a bad, a really baaaad bully. Don't worry Cohen, we will slap him and spank him!

After slapping and spanking Schultz, the aloof teacher who has by now transformed into a boot camp sergeant turns to Ahmad who is playing with other kids far away around a not-yet-burned bush.

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EDIP YUKSEL, J.D. is a progressive American-Turkish-Kurdish author/philosopher/lawyer/activist (too many hyphens and slashes, I know). His recent English books "Quran: a Reformist Translation", "Manifesto for Islamic Reform", and "NINETEEN: God's (more...)
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