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OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 6/2/19

One Toke Over the Line

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Don't let the title fool you, we're not tearing off in the red shark looking for the American dream today this is a vision of the American Nightmare. There are similarities however, which should not be ignored. A guy out of his mind wrapped in the American flag living in a fantasy dream world where only he is right. He knows more about Isis than the generals and he knows more about everything than everybody.

You know, looking back it would make a hell of an intro to a Science Fiction movie. Inauguration day, Take One: Did you see how they loved me out here? That must be the biggest crowd in the history of the world!

Actually sir, the park service says,

What do they know? I know more about crowds than they do!

And yet, he sends out his press secretary to argue the point. This isn't a story the media fostered, this one comes from downtown Pennsylvania Ave. The big White House with the little white man inside trying to convince us to believe his delusion. It can all be dismissed and scoffed at, this was just a new President unfamiliar with the office, just learning his way around.

Then came Chancellorsville and people died senselessly. The ogre scratches his ass and winds his watch, I suppose there's good people on both sides. Oh my god! Helen Keller is flying the airplane. Shocking in its disconnect frozen in its insensitivity, lucid under only the loosest of terms. But in the grand scheme of Republican Fascist Oligarchy, no harm done a cherry snow cone dripped on white pants. Tax cuts a comin, we can buy back stock and pump up Wall Street like a beach ball! Then there's regulatory reform, I must make a note to myself to remember to call Monsanto back. To the elite who meet to talk the sheet, he's tolerable.

Released by his handlers he swings from his tire in the oval confinement area. He is amused by video images of pretty girls in short skirts and men who were once boys beaten up for their lunch money kissing his backside. Swinging in his tire he screams, "I know more than you! I know more than everybody!" With his loutish performance he alienates our closest allies and is talking all kinds of crazy stuff about leaving NATO. To the elite who meet to talk the sheet the siren song of tax cuts, everything's good, don't rock the boat.

But outside the Mcwhite House the matrix board says; Now hiring managers and cabinet secretaries--- Great Pay! Sifting through the sands of suffering supplicants you come down to three types. Type one, smile, pucker and kiss. Type two, lock the door, don't answer the phone and order a four-year calendar. Type three, inveterate crooks' thieves and corporate whores. Mamas boys and never wases, cheap hoodlums escaped from an episode of The Twilight Zone narrated by Rod Serling himself. The irony being that despite reaching the top of the food chain as a criminal, climbing to the top of the corporate dung pile as it were, they aren't any good at it.

It only adds to the exodus; they're never fired because of the corruption. They're fired when the Ogre gets tired of answering questions about their corruption, when it becomes unavoidable in a reality where everything is avoidable. To the elite who meet to talk sheet, Ah, so what, we're making truckloads of money. We're putting judges on the bench who don't even know how to read! Do understand the value of a poorly educated judge?

Then his wall, then his shutdown, as the orbit becomes elliptical were not playing with a circle anymore. As the staff rotation continues, the Ogre tries to name the Domino's guy secretary of pizza. But it's okay,see? We got our tax cuts; we got the Supreme Court! Hot damn! There won't be a decision against a corporation in this country for the next ten years, maybe twenty! Isn't that worth a few miscues? The Ogre rarely says anything important or cogent, but they're always knee slappers! Trade wars are easy to win! I know more about trade wars than anybody! The room got quiet and the Wall Street boys sitting around the poker table all looked up and asked, What did you just say?

The Ogre handling team springs to action, Shhh, don't freak out boys it's only a ploy he doesn't really mean it. Calm down it will be okay. Stop screaming. The Ogre cage grows quiet when Vladimir Putin is on the picture box and the Ogre sees himself both feeding his delusion and stripping it of its power all at once. Gee, I wish I could be a real boy and be a tough guy and scare people out of my way. Guards take him to be shot! Yeah, that'd be pretty neat! Instead the Ogre is only little rocket man's play friend. Playing where the bullies are no bigger and still coming off the lessor, shot down over Nam. Sweet Jesus in his undershorts, irony can be hell.

At the far end of the Oval confinement area is a game show wheel as seen on TV and when the Ogre is either bored or stimulated by the talking box, he spins the wheel and moves his head in circles following the it like trying to read the hub cap on a moving car. When it comes to a stop he reads, BE PRESIDENTIAL. Damn, he was hoping for cowboy or porn star. It taught him not to spin the wheel too often. But one day the talking box had placed an insect so far up his rectum the Ogre spun the wheel. Following as always, he watched as it slowed, The fuhrer will settle issues with Poland! Remember, trade wars are easy to win!

The Wall Street boys spit out their cigars and reread their financial statements trying to calm themselves. The fear was palpable, relax, it's only a ploy it'll be alright. He doesn't mean it, you watch! The circle is now an ellipse and Mars is in retrograde. He no longer swings on his tire. Small voices are piercing through the bubble attacking the delusion. I am the greatest I know everything! I know more than Chuck or Nancy. I don't think the courts would let them impeach the Ogre.

But to settle the Polish question and since they stymied his wall, he proposed a tax on everyone in Mexico named Juan, Pedro or Maria. Hours later, it was changed to a 5% tariff. The blood ran from the faces of the Wall Street boys. They put out their cigars and whispered together quietly then said, we don't think you outta do that. Relax boys, it's just a ploy and the boys said, shut up! The fuhrer was about to start a two-front trade war. The circle has become almost linear the Ogre remembers that great day with the biggest crowd ever in the whole world was cheering for him, I'm ready for my close up now Mr. Deville.

We's reaching what they call at the Alabama nuclear plant... critical mass. If you can clock out now, I think that would be a good idea we're almost to Dealy Plaza. The Ogre is allowed to play in his cage, but "play" is the operative word here. He's upset the apple cart throwing feces through the bars. Republican support will melt away like Freshman at a keg party. They'll flip faster than flapjacks at Denny's (Americas favorite dirty restaurant). They like the guy sorta when times are good, but they won't fight for him when Mars retaliates. So, fire up the Lincoln were headed for Dallas! By bullet or Congressional ballot, the Ogre will pull back on his tariffs or the Ogre will be replaced. Taken to some gold platted Ogre sanctuary to swing on his tire and remember the good ole days when the Ogre was King for a day. The old adage goes, don't ever mess with their money. An illustration of American Democracy at work.

(Article changed on June 2, 2019 at 20:10)

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I who am I? Born at the pinnacle of American prosperity to parents raised during the last great depression. I was the youngest child of the youngest children born almost between the generations and that in fact clouds and obscures who it is that (more...)

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