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OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 7/3/16

Oh Hillary!

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Oh Hillary, won't that pesky email problem ever go away?

Now we have the F.B.I. involved.

Your number one political nemesis, Donald Trump, quickly wrote on Twitter after getting wind of the F.B.I. interview: "It is impossible for the F.B.I. not to recommend criminal charges against Hillary Clinton, What she did was wrong!"

Hillary Clinton - Caricature
Hillary Clinton - Caricature
(Image by DonkeyHotey)
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Always with great aplomb (hrumph, ah'choo), the experienced political charlatan said of the F.B.I.'s intrusion: "I've been eager to do it and I was pleased to have the opportunity to assist the department in bringing its review to a conclusion," [Clinton told Chuck Todd of on MSNBC and NBC News Saturday.]

Whew! Hillary, aren't you glad that email mess is over now? Well, let's hold on for one cotton pickin' second -- what if there's a second F.B.I. interview? I mean isn't that how the men in black operate? If big city detectives and even small-town cops aren't too shy to stop at the door of a suspected criminal for a second, third, or fourth interview, and sometimes these visits can go into the teens and twenties, well, can't that happen to you, too, oh Hillary? It's you, Hillary, and it's the F.B.I., but these aren't apples and oranges we're comparing here. No, they're lemons and lemons.

Oh wait, yes you are going to be the next President of the United States and this will not happen. Such trivialities are beneath you. That old Republican Rattlesnake, Richard M. Nixon, erased less than 20 minutes of tape (18-1/2 minutes to be exact), and the scandal drug on and on and on and on. We watched it on the nightly news long before there was nonstop news, all day, all night and at all in between times, for what seemed like eons....

Most readers are wrinkled and old, but I might say, wise. Sure we have a few gray hairs and most of us have a bit of a paunch, but we're far too jaded and cynical to actually think that this interview two days before Independence Day, 2016, is simply over. Yes-sir-ree, it's done! Bill and I are going to pick out the Oval Office draperies and our new line of china for holding dinners with foreign dignities, so shoo! Before you go, though, do you mind filling up this tumbler with that ocher-colored juice over there? And where is he, that rogue? He has a date with Little Miss Energizer?! Well I'll be a Monkey's Great Uncle! You tell him to come back here right now!

No, it's not over, Hillary, and even if you become our 45th President, Ms. Clinton, those men in black are going to be visiting the Oval Office frequently. Very frequently. They didn't become super-duper cops and got to the ranks of being wily and cunning sleuths from playing Game of Thrones, after all.

Just for all the faithful, I have included a little ditty, a song of patriotism and honor that so many of our neighbors to the north sing with great pride. Usually, many of them have tears running down their faces as they sing the words to this great anthem. And with apologies to our Canadian friends, some of whom are also writers and readers, I've finagled around with "O Canada" a bit to make a Fourth of July version of this anthem for us, here in America. And it all has to do with Hillary, the F.B.I., and that aggravating nuisance of an email problem that simply won't go away:

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Samuel Vargo worked as a full-time reporter and editor for more than 20 years at a number of daily newspapers and business journals. He was also an adjunct English professor at colleges and universities in Ohio, West Virginia, Mississippi (more...)

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