*To my fans, this isn't typically the kind of article I publish. But, I think this story is a good opportunity to take some poetic licenses. So far, it seems I pulled this article off; I've gotten good comments on DailyKos and Open Salon. Enjoy.
Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell's victory over nine-term Rep. Mike Castle in Delaware's Republican Senate primary Tuesday night may have been a signal that a significant number of Delaware citizens are willing to support candidates who like to preach to Americans on what they should and should not do sexually.
Prior to her primary victory, there had been much talk about O'Donnell's history as an advocate for abstinence and a crusader against masturbation. But, if O'Donnell is so anti-masturbation, she shouldn't be running for office. Doesn't she know her campaign is stimulating a bunch of dicks and a**holes?
Last night MSNBC's Rachel Maddow played a video of her appearance on MTV's "Sex in the "90s," which shows exactly what O'Donnell means when she talks about being opposed to rubbing one out every now and then:
O'DONNELL: My name is Christine O'Donnell. I am the president and founder of the SALT. The SALT stands for the Saviors Alliance for Lifting the Truth.
We choose sexual purity in our lives. We have God-given sexual desires. And we need to understand them and preserve them to be used in God's appropriate context.
We need to address sexuality with young people. And masturbation is part of sexuality. But it is important to discuss this from a moral point of view.
CHRISTINE GEDGAUDAS, MARKETING MANAGER, THE SALT: Masturbation is a selfish act, and it's a lustful one. And we are to walk with pure hearts, not adulterous lusting hearts.
TODD HITCHCOCK, YOUTH PASTOR: The Bible is clear in the fact that it says that any sexual act outside of the realm of marriage is wrong.
O'DONNELL: The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So, you can't masturbate without lust.
The reason that you don't tell them that masturbation is the answer to AIDS and all these other problems that come with sex outside of marriage is because, again, it is not addressing the issue. You're going to be pleasing each other. And if he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself, then why am in the picture?"
I can't speak for any man in O'Donnell's life, but I can say if he does masturbate, he will still want you. Just because the bumper cars are a good time doesn't mean you won't want to ride the roller coaster later. And, I wouldn't worry: God will enjoy every minute that he gets to watch you and your man unleash the sexual desires he gave O'Donnell and her man.
Even more straitlaced, Justin Elliott has put up a post on Salon.com that indicates O'Donnell believed, while in college, coedization of colleges could lead to "orgy rooms":
Dorm life has evolved into a blending of the sexes, from coed buildings to coed floors, coed bathrooms and now even coed rooms.
"What's next? Orgy rooms? Menage a trois rooms?" asked Christine O'Donnell, spokeswoman for the Intercollegiate Studies Institute in Wilmington, Del., which publishes a college guide.
All this coedness is outside normal life, said Miss O'Donnell. "Most average American adults don't use coed bathrooms - if they had the option of a coed bathroom at a public restaurant, they wouldn't choose it." Coedness "is like a radical agenda forced on college students," she said.
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