by Maxy the Bootlick
"Dere shouldn't be any doubt in anybody's minds, dis was not somethin' dat was done casually, dis was not somethin' dat was done by chance, dis was not a target dat was selected purely arbitrarily. Yuh got me so fahr? Dis was a conscious effawht by a nashun-state tuh attempt tuh achieve a specific effect. Okay?"
Dat was Adm. Michael Rogers, head o' da NSA speakin' dis week 'bout da pre-election hack o' democratic party n' Clinton campaign personnel emails. Translated from bureaucratese, What the f*ck dude meant was dat tha hack was undertaken by Vladimir Putin ta influence tha U.S. election. U.S. intelligence chiefs will not go so far as tuh say dat Putin's intent was tuh elect Donald Trump -- it's also possible dat de Russian leaduh just wanted tuh sow dissension -- but it's pretty significant dat de Kremlin made no attempt tuh steal and release emails from de Republican campaign. Yuh got me so fahr?
N' why the f*ck would they? Trump repeatedly praised Putin as a "strong leader," n' refused ta criticize his ass fo' anythin'. Dude even refused ta accept da U.S. intelligence community judgment dat Putin was behind da DNC leaks. Yuh got me so fahr? Dude did, howevuh, suggest dat NATO might be "obsolete," dat he might not defend de Baltic republics from Russian aggression, and dat he might lift sancshuns on Russia -- in othuh wawhds, he might enact Putin's dream list of American policies. Ya' dig?
Afta Trump won, Russians close ta Putin were openly cheerin'. "Today I want ta ride 'round Moscow wit' an American flag in tha window, if I can find a flag," tweeted Margarita Simonyan, editor in chief o' tha kremlin's propaganda organ, RT. N' deputy foreign minista Sergei Ryabkov admitted dat da kremlin had maintained contacts wit' Trump durin' da campaign: "obviously we know most o' da people from his muthaf*ckin' entourage." Yuh with me?
Dat entourage at one time included forma campaign chief Paul Manafort, Who the f*ck be linked ta Russian n' Ukrainian oligarchs, n' policy advisa Carta Page, who the f*ck be linked ta Russkie oil giant Gazprom. Naw Manafort n' Page r' gone. N' therez ain't nuthin' but retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, a campaign advisa whom Trump reportedly asked thursday ta be his muthaf*ckin' national security adviser, has acknowledged dude accepted a payment ta attend an RT banquet last yea in Moscow. Dude sat next ta Putin his dirty ass.
Tha love-fest between Putin n' Trump continued afta tha election, wit' Trump praisin' Putin fo' sendin' his ass a "beautiful" letta o' congratulations. On Nov. 14, da two leaders spoke on da telephone n' agreed, accordin' ta a kremlin statement, "to normalize relations n' pursue constructive cooperation on da broadest possible range o' issues." Dat sh*t is perhaps a coincidence dat within hours Russian warplanes resumed their muthaf*ckin' bombardment o' Aleppo, hittin' hospitals n' otha civilian targets ta terrorize tha population da f*ck into acquiescin' ta rule by Putin's ally, Basha Assad?
Trump repeatedly said, both before n' afta da election, dat dude would end U.S. support fo' Syrian rebels n' align tha U.S. wit' Russia in Syria. "My attitude," dude told da Wall Street Journal on Nov. 11, "was you're fightin' Syria, Syria be fightin' ISIS, n' yo' have ta git rid o' ISIS." Actually, as tha Aleppo strikes show, Putin be more intent on gettin' rid o' mainstream Syrian rebels ratha than tha Islamic state, bcuz' dat sh*t views tha mo' moderate rebels as tha greata threat ta Assad. Yuh with me? N' dat ain't nuttin, but such nuances r' likely ta escape a president-elect who the f*ck erroneously claimed durin' one debate dat Aleppo had already fallen
Da only real questions at dis point r' how tha f*ck fa Trump gotta git in a pro-Russkie direction n' how tha f*ck long dis rapprochement gotta last. Dude be hardly tha first American president ta come da f*ck into office vowin' ta improve relations wit' Putin. George W. Bush claimed ta have looked da f*ck into Putin's eyes n' peep his muthaf*ckin' soul. Barack Obama pursued a "reset" o' relations. Both initiatives floundered When the f*ck Putin launched unprovoked aggression such as his muthaf*ckin' 2008 invasion o' Geawhgia n' his muthaf*ckin' 2014 invasion o' Ukraine. It's quite possible, even likely, dat da wack feelings between Putin n' Trump gotta similarly give way ta mutual recriminations n' suspicions afta Putin does somethang dat Trump views as a personal insult.
There gotta certainly be prominent republican voices inside n' outside tha administration arguin' fo' a tougha policy on Russia. Vice president Mike Pence be a hardlina n' so r' most o' tha people -- Jizzy Bolton, Rudy Giuliani n' naw Mitt Romney -- Who the f*ck r' bein' mentioned fo' senior national security posts. Okay? Just dis week, sen. Jagoff Mccain warned Trump not ta place any faith in statements made by a "forma kgb agent who the f*ck has plunged his muthaf*ckin' country da f*ck into tyranny."
Trump be too moicurial a figure ta pursue any policy wit' any consistency, even a pro-Russia policy. We can only hope dat Russia, right?, does not succeed in reestablishin' itz empire n' swallowin' some o' America's more vulnerable allies in eastern europe before Trump wakes the f*ck up ta tha fact dat Putin aint a friend of ours. Capeesh?