Tired, broke, hungry and stranded in Kuwait City, I ended up throwing myself on the mercy of the International Islamic Charitable Organization, the US embassy and a local high school for girls.
"We can put you up in Kuwait until your return flight date comes up," said a mathematics teacher at the girls' school, who then drove me to the IICO where I spent fifteen minutes in the waiting room looking at photos of starving African babies that the organization was trying to help -- and feeling stupid. Why should the IICO spend funds on a stranded American journalist when they could be sponsoring breakfasts in Darfur or somewhere instead?
"Are you an American citizen?" asked an IICO social worker. I nodded yes. "Then as much as we would like to help you out here and find you a place to stay in Kuwait, we are obligated by law to take you to the US embassy first." And they did.
"To embed in Iraq. The Army freaking PROMISED me an embed, and then rescinded their offer after I'd already purchased my airline ticket and now I'm stranded here at the Kuwait airport Starbucks for three weeks, waiting around for my return flight."
"We can't get the Army to embed you," said my ambassadorial person, "but we can get the airline to send you home early." And they did. And when I finally got home, I tried to get the Department of Defense to reimburse me for my plane fare. "Your claim is not cognizable, Ms. Stillwater," they replied.
"How did your trial go?" asked my daughter Ashley after I got back home.
"Not so good. When I got to court this morning, the bailiff informed me that I hadn't properly served my "Plaintiff's Claim and Order to Go to Small Claims Court" on the DoD.
"The trial has been called off," said the bailiff, "because you didn't file a Proof of Service with the court in order to prove that you actually served the defendants."
"But the COURT was supposed to serve the DoD -- not me. Way last June I paid the clerk of the court ten whole dollars to serve the defendants by certified mail."
"Yeah but when you got that green certified mail return receipt postcard back in the mail, you were then supposed to file a Proof of Service form with us."
"Then you need to go downstairs, talk to the clerk and set up a continuance," said the bailiff.
Downstairs, the clerk informed me that, actually, it was the court that had been supposed to file the POS. "We are the ones that the defendant sends the return receipt back to," she said, "and we never got it back from the DoD so they have not been properly served and hence there can't be a trial."