On June 2013 Bollywood actress Jiah Khan was found dead in her Juhu apartment in an apparent suicide. Her boy friend said to be the only reason behind Jiah's suicide attempt.
My school friend (Manju Shakya) (name changed) committed suicide. She was a beautiful friend and her love life transformed into conflict, cheating and dissatisfaction and made her life a different journey and committed suicide.
She told me one day " The idea of home bring fear in me. Therefore, in the morning when I go out of my home every time I am discharged with the thought of my possible returning home in the evening. Although the place where my boy friend lives, should be pleasant yet he who don't understand me well, begin to connect all kinds of things at that time. I am mostly sad because he told me he does not love me anymore. Certainly, I remain dissatisfied with myself".
It's true that I have seen her walking together with a boyfriend named Ramesh. But there is no point in suspecting things just because I saw them walking together two or three times. In the neighborhood there was a big rumor regarding their relationship. It could be a kind of weakness in me that I haven't been probably able to understand their relation. I do like this kind of relation between two of them.
Therefore, I didn't attach a special importance to this kind of things.
"Isn't the translation of love life and relationship into a journey, that's divided into different smaller parts?" She asked me one day.
She didn't imagined that her beloved would run away like that. She wanted him every day, morning and evening. She wanted to keep him happy that is why, she worked very hard. She worked form the morning to evening.
One day, I slowly looked at her and smiled, " You like to work. Life is not easy as we think. Won't you give me a moment just to live?"
She began to speak more loudly, " Neither my so called boy friend live easily nor he let me live easily. He has a new girl friend now?"
I told her " You haven't understood the meaning of true love at all.
The meaning of true relationship is not to keep tied up."
I went on listening what she said about her boy friend. I had friendship with her because we loved each other as a good friend.
She was shouting," He just go on cheating all my life, just cheating with me and nothing else. As for me, enough of it! I can no longer have this fake relationship with him with all these wants and all this conflict everyday. To be frank, I feel insecure all the time when I am with him. Why? I don't know it myself. Perhaps I discovered it quite late that I made a bad choice to get a boy friend like him."
She went to the other side continually speaking. The evening was getting dark. My eyes were filled with tears exactly like those of the women. I stopped. Just one thing she said continued to pinch me. " Now I can no longer be interested to survive."
If I am to say, Women should think they are living a meaningful life. And they should not be running away in a successful attempt of seeing their beloved who have run away from them by cheating them.
I understand many beautiful women's emotion when they were cheated by their boyfriends or husbands. I feel pain in this way also that almost every member of many women's couldn't offer expected love to them so they committed suiciide. In fact, what these women required most was love. Seeing the hatred, insult and the attitude of selfish individuals they wishes to commit suicide too. Yes, they really like to commit suicide. When all the members of the house and the relatives they know are entirely selfish. They are such that they do not even hesitate to create immense pain to their mind.
Sometimes I wish I would finish off at once all these opportunist situation, selfish thought, and the absurdity of life, but the constraint is in fate and in feeling too.
Days are being gone within this room doing nothing. I have not been able to do any special work except reading and re-reading women's feeling. Everywhere there are frustrations, sadness and gloom. Knowing that this young age is for creation for thinking some new ideas, and for making oneself active for immortality, why and how now lots of women standing at the point heading towards a perennial irresponsibility and disintegrated vision which they have not been able to understand.
Once they think they are not being loved, so living has no future. A life has no any story. Life is translatable into a void and into an absurd silence. My heart can't believe completely that many women may distance from their life,like this and stop living. How long should they sustain a sad life living in the ruined castle of imagination?
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
