Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 12 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

Newsflash: New Yorkers don't care what out-of-town bedwetters think.

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   2 comments
Follow Me on Twitter     Message Henry Porter
Become a Fan
  (1 fan)

As a native New Yorker, I'm sick and tired of lazy quitters like Sarah Palin (half-term governor), Newt Gingrich (dumped his cancer-stricken wife), Glenn Beck (didn't last a semester in college) and idiot teabaggers(who can't even finish a thought) crawling out of the woodwork so they can get all frenzied up about stuff happening in a city they are afraid to drive in.

Seriously, where do these asshat hayseeds get off having an opinion about anything that happens in the city? We're talking about a bunch of sad sacks who would soil themselves if they had to ride the freakin' subway. Who cares what they think?

Now I'm used to Republicans whining and squealing like pigs. But now the president has weighed in Harry Reid (D-Gutless) has decided it is high time to strap on his knee pads? What reason could he possibly have to voice an opinion about local zoning ordinances in New York City? Is this some eleven-dimensional chess strategy designed to appease the wingers in Nevada who aren't voting for him anyway? What's next? Seeking an endorsement from Orly Taitz to show he is bipartisan?

Fer cryin' out loud. This is getting out of hand. I think we should have a simple standard before anyone else gets to weigh in on this whole "Ground Zero Mosque" nonsense.

If you want to voice an opinion on the matter, you have to drive in to New York City, park on the street,hop onthe subway, and then go to any of the 28 mosques in Queens, 27 in Brooklyn, 20 in the Bronx, 17 in Manhattan or 8 in Staten Island so you can hold a press conference out front of said mosque explaining why one more mosque in the city is the end of civilization as we know it.

I'm making this as easy as I can. They can hold this press conference during daylight hours. I'm not expecting them to do anything crazy like, God forbid, use the subway after dark or anything. These thumb suckers would have to wear adult diapers so as not to mess up the fine plastic seating if they did that. I realize that is a challenge even Republican Senator David Vitter could meet, but that just goes to show how low I'm setting the bar here. Any lower, and we'd have to dig a hole to locate it.

Of course all that effort might be for naught, so let me add one more condition. Before any more obtuse opiners want to toss in their two cents, I think they should pay for a survey of New Yorkers answering the following question:

Do you care what people from out of town say about the way New Yorkers act?

We all know what would happen with that poll. They would shove it so far down the throat of these milquetoast meddlers, they'd have to stand for it because they wouldn't be able to sit.

Speaking of standing for something... Hizzoner Da Mayor already weighed in on this issue weeks ago. He told the whiners to save the drama for their mama because whining about this was annoying the hell out of the adults. As far as I'm concerned, when a New York City Jew is saying loud and clear that this mosque can be built wherever the congregation wants, the only sound you should hear after that is the fat lady singing. And the name of that tune will be "Hey Harry and Sarah, who the hell asked you?"

Speaking of Sarah, honey.... I don't want you to wet your pants, but I think someone should tell you there is already a mosque near the WTC site, dontchyaknow? Also. *wink, wink*

A message from Lady Liberty to all the bedwetters out there.
A message from Lady Liberty to all the bedwetters out there.
(Image by henry porter)
  Details   DMCA

Must Read 3   Well Said 2   Funny 2  
Rate It | View Ratings

Henry Porter Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

For starters, I am not the Henry Porter who writes for the Observer in Britain. I'm a native New Yorker living in Maryland. I used to believe knowledge was power. Now I know knowledge translated into action is power.
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Follow Me on Twitter     Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Health Insurance Company Stock Prices Say it All

Pittsburgh police beat music student who performed for Obama

Wikileaks documents confirm Tom Fox died for our sins

The Key To Uncle Tom's Cabin, White Trash and Joe Wilson

Tiger Woods and the Ambien bombshell they aren't chasing. (1 of 3 in a series)

MasterCard and Visa cut off Wikileaks, but the KKK is still OK!

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend