(Article changed on December 29, 2013 at 08:51)
Fracker: It's just over there on the other side of these trees.
America: What's that noxious odor I smell upon the breeze?
F: That smell is giving away the surprise.
A: Oh, well, I'll just close my eyes.
F: See? We pump all this crap into the well
and out comes gas, which we sell.
A: Does this industry make jobs for Maggie and Josh?
F: Good American kids will do "Anything for cash."
A: Will we be sickened by the chemicals we drink?
F: Not if we don't see them. What do you think!