Sex, like everything, alters as you age.
When young, your thoughts turned to
oils, lotions, positions ad infinitum.
Now it's different.
To get my wife really in the mood,
I wash the dishes, vacuum, do the laundry,
and for the piece de resistance,
I clean the bathroom, including the grout.
The above are guaranteed
to give your lover heart palpitations,
sweaty palms, and a desire to perform
a wonderful act of oral
that was once illegal in all 50 states.
And even though,
according to that amateur philologist