Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 1 Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on Reddit Tell A Friend Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites
Life Arts

Merry Christmas Duck Hunters

By       Message Kevin Tully       (Page 1 of 1 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   No comments

Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags
Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

Author 48597
Become a Fan
  (24 fans)

portrait of an old duck hunter with his shotgun and catch
(Image by Historical Indulgencies)
  Permission   Details   DMCA
- Advertisement -

Phil Robertson, the Duck Dynasty dude, is a duck-call maker and outdoorsman: he's not a prophet, leader, or philosopher.   Although it does appear that he has an interest in gynecology or porn -- it's hard from what he's said to make a distinction.   He has every right to speak his mind.  

I've been duck hunting.   I've tried to use a duck call.   I've never been duck hunting or tried to use a duck call with a homosexual in the blind with me.   However, I have broken concrete and driven nails with a homosexual breaking concrete and driving nails next to me.   I never worried about why he didn't like vaginas.   He possibly worried about why I liked 'em -- he never said anything though.  

Once, I dug deep holes in hard caliche earth and planted big trees with a homosexual helping me.   We never talked about my sexual escapades.   But boy he sure liked to talk about his.   Yes, it did make me uncomfortable.   I was much more uncomfortable when my homosexual tree-planting helper died of AIDS.   Have you ever seen a man that loves another man cry?   Interestingly, it strikes at your heart in the same way watching a grief-stricken loving husband cry for his departed wife.   True love is evidently a failed liberal conceit.   I'm really confused about this.  

- Advertisement -

Conservatives or whatever they want to call themselves (Duck Hunters?) apparently have rules about how all of this works.   I sure wish that I would have had a Duck Hunter (other than the ones I hunted with of course, well, that was back before Duck Hunters had figured out all this love stuff I guess) minister to and advise me on matters of love and attraction -- it sure would have uncomplicated a very complicated time in my young life -- driven by "true love" and, what they now call, hookin' up.   Come to think about it, although all my buddies were heterosexual, a lot of 'em sure could have also used advice from the Duck Hunters with all the divorces, extramarital affairs, bastard children, and venereal disease.   Sometimes love is not really true love.   This is unfortunate.   If Duck Hunters think they can alleviate some of this suffering -- more power to 'em.  

Mr. Robertson and his clan should absolutely keep on doing what they're doing.   I grew up in the sixties and seventies, nourished on the counter-culture escapades of Frank Zappa, Monte Python, Robert Crumb, Richard Pryor, et al., and a lot of what was promulgated by these folks was offensive to certain groups.   They all talked a lot about love too and it would have been a damn shame to shut them down back then.  

Yes, certainly, I'm absolutely for Phil Robertson's right to speak his mind.   I just hope for his sake that he doesn't get stuck in a remote duck blind with a duck huntin', hammer swingin', hole diggin' homosexual because, instead of kickin' his duck-huntin' ass, he may teach him something about what it means to love and then if Phil subsequently started promoting the universality of love on his program -- he would most certainly get canned.  Nobody wants to watch a redneck duck hunter talk about love.  

- Advertisement -

So, Merry Christmas to all you Duck Hunters out there.  Hope the season finds you in love and loved.      


- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It

Kevin is (writing about yourself in the third person (illeism) is a trip) an artist/writer/carpenter and frustrated songwriter living in Johnson City, Texas. His latest frustrating songwriting attempt is titled, "I Touched the Hand That Touched (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon Share Author on Social Media   Go To Commenting

The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Open Letter To Green Party Candidate Jill Stein

The Rise of Shallow, Demonstrative Religion

Kellyanne Conway/Joseph Goebbels

The Little, Slightly Tilted Church

BECKWATCH: Ayn Rand Would Have Absolutely Hated Glenn Beck

Bill O'Reilly Must Go