A recent poll revealed that while women plan their holiday gifts in advance, men often buy them at the gas station on the way to a family gathering.
Other men who resist the gas station, consider the hardware store fertile gift buying territory since if they buy a tool for their wife, they will have a new tool. Or drill bits. Or a seed tiller. How would they like it if we "gave" them new linens or a coffee pot for Valentine's Day? A yoga mat?
Of course few believe that women's feet are smaller than men's so we can get closer to the kitchen sink--anymore. Nor does anyone laugh at the joke about the man who didn't realize his wife had passed away until the dishes piled up. But our feet are smaller. That means the size L slippers men pick up at the drug store--along with the frozen box of candy--fit like snow shoes or snorkel fins.
And speaking of romantic, men don't tell your wife or girlfriend she looks beautiful by the light of one candle. Impaired observer compliments haven't worked since Blanche DuBois covered the light bulbs in Streetcar Named Desire to look younger.
If your wife or girlfriend spent three hours getting blond streaks, asymmetrical layers or a weave at the salon, don't say, "Hey--you got a hair cut."
If she's wearing a clingy turquoise silk top with beading don't say, "nice dress." If she's wearing a cheetah print tank dress from Bebe, don't say, "nice skirt."