Cross Posted at Legal Schnauzer
The poisoning of iconic oak trees on an Alabama campus might not rank among the most heinous crimes ever. But the alleged perpetrator, if proven guilty, surely will rank among our all-time most pathetic criminals. He also has revealed himself to be a dumb ass of the highest order, which makes us think he must be a Republican.
Harvey Updyke, a University of Alabama fan, has been charged with poisoning the trees at famed Toomer's Corner on the Auburn University campus. Updyke apparently was angry that Auburn, UA's cross-state rival, was on its way to an undefeated, national-championship season.
Why is Updyke a colossal dumb ass--aside from the fact he allegedly took out his frustrations on defenseless trees that are reportedly 130 years old? He took actions that ensured he was going to get caught. And his infantile efforts to draw attention to his actions remind us of our experiences with certain sickos associated with the Alabama Republican Party.
Why were police able to nab Updyke not long after news broke about the poisoning? He called the Birmingham-based Paul Finebaum Radio Network and bragged about what he had done. The Finebaum Network is one of the best-known sports-talk programs in the Southeast, and Updyke identified himself in the call as "Al from Dadeville."
What is Updyke's full name? Harvey Almorn Updyke Jr. And where does he live? Near Dadeville, Alabama.
Smart move, Harv. Call a heavily trafficked radio show to brag about a crime you've committed--and give your real name and location.