Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on Reddit Tell A Friend Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites
OpEdNews Op Eds

Loving Me Was Easier: A Parable for the Perplexed

By   Follow Me on Twitter     Message Edward Curtin       (Page 1 of 1 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   No comments

Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags
Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com

Author 94064
Become a Fan
  (18 fans)
- Advertisement -

By Edward Curtin

From flickr.com: Identity Theft {MID-340828}
Identity Theft
(Image by Got Credit)
  Permission   Details   DMCA

A few years ago I married myself, but we've reconsidered and have filed for divorce. It's no one's fault really, but we are emotionally devastated nevertheless. At least we have no children. Sologamy didn't seem to suit us. We had acted impetuously. I had gotten the idea after hearing a NPR radio report about a woman who fell in love with herself and said that after she tied the knot she had never been happier.

The world was getting me down at the time with all the political news about the Russians coming and insinuating themselves between me and you and all good Americans who had just wanted to elect Hilary Clinton and be happy. And as I was thinking about this happy married couple - the woman and herself, not Bill and Hillary - I chanced upon a New York Times article in a coffee shop that convinced me to take the plunge. It was a weird article that jumped out at me about transracialism and transgenderism and this big debate about these big words and a big philosopher who claims if you can self-identify as a different sex, or is it gender - I can never get them straight - you should also be able to self-identify as a different race. It was a long article with a lot of people arguing back and forth about self-identifying as this and that and what names to call themselves and I couldn't concentrate on it all but I got the gist of the professor's point and thought this might be for me, it might help me get OK and happy, which was my goal. So I self-identified as I and me, a couple, and we said I do and I do too in a private ceremony. I really wanted to be happy like that woman and to forget all the stuff about Trump being in bed with the Russians, and the Russians trying to get into our heads and voting booths, maybe even our beds where they would whisper lies about capitalism being immoral and other sweet nothings meant to confuse us about our identities and what was right and wrong. I figured going to bed with myself might help me forget.

- Advertisement -

But it hasn't worked out as we expected. Last night, we had a little New Year's Eve party and had a few anime hologram friends over. As usual, we talked about the past year and old times and old friends and sang a few lines of Auld Lang Syne as we toasted left hand to right with some nice Prosecco with pomegranate juice since we heard that was the drink all the smart set use to celebrate their clever happiness. But then we got to arguing, and between you and me, it wasn't pretty. Our friends were mortified. It was a scene straight out of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? The Prosecco had gone to our head, so we don't remember all the scathing interchanges, but I do know our anime friends said not a word and that me said to I at one point words that seemed to echo Martha and George's. Martha: "Truth or Illusion, George; you don't know the difference." George: "No, but we must carry on as if we did." Martha: "Amen."

So now it's the day after and we must carry on "as if." Amen, indeed! And though our head hurts a bit, we have been talking over coffee and have decided to split up, amicably of course. It's a new year, and like most people, we want to make a fresh start. I wish me the best and know me reciprocates. We will now go separate ways but it will be very lonely. Facebook friends might help somewhat, but they are no substitute for the intimacy of the past few years. Who will now help me make it through the night? And what about poor I? Forgive me, but I am so confused and have a hell of a headache.

Although I want 2019 to be a happy year, if 2018 is any gauge, 2019 will be a long night from hell politically and culturally, with fake news everywhere and our Russian enemies infiltrating our minds at every turn with backstopping and sheep dipping their spies throughout the media and academia. It's so lonely trying to make sense of it all. Without my me-spouse, it can only get worse. Even CNN's Anderson Cooper's New Year's Eve words of comfort to the lonely from Times Square don't help much. Like Fox News's "Fox and Friends," Anderson is always there with a helping hand, and when I and me were arguing, I could always go to my true friends in the media for a dose of truth and sustenance. They know all about the Russian threat.

- Advertisement -

But while I am grateful for their comfort in these confusing times, I need more. With apologies to Kris Kristofferson, but loving me was easier that anything I'll ever do again. I need easy, real easy, easier even than when I would say something and me would disagree but we would let it slide for the sake of our relationship. It was easier that way. But our relationship was probably doomed from the start.

But thank God for technology and CNN that has alerted me to a new technological possibility with a report about a Japanese man, Akihito Kondo, a school administrator, who fell in love years ago with Miku, a cyber-celebrity hologram. He has finally taken the plunge and married Miku in a lovely ceremony in front of 39 people. Kondo seems radiantly happy and not at all confused.

Such a possibility was right in front of my nose all along: my anime hologram friends who watched me and I get drunk last night. One of them - Meto - is cute as a button and is always looking to snuggle and comfort others. If she will have me, I will propose after a dignified waiting period, maybe an hour or so.

I will carry on as if loving her will be easier than anything I've ever done before.

 

- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com


Edward Curtin is a writer whose work has appeared widely. He teaches sociology at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts. His website is http://edwardcurtin.com/


Edward Curtin Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Remembering Albert Camus' "The Plague": It is US

Prof. Noam Chomsky, Anarchist, Lectures Leftists on Why They Should Vote for Neo-Liberal, War Hawk Hillary Clinton

The Coming Wars to End All Wars

The "Deep State" Then and Now

Happy Fifth Anniversary, Hillary, You've Destroyed Libya

The Fakest Fake News: The U.S. Government's 9/11 Conspiracy Theory - A Review of 9/11Unmasked: An International Review

Comments Image Post Article Comment

These discussions are not moderated. We rely on users to police themselves, and flag inappropriate comments and behavior. In accordance with our Guidelines and Policies, we reserve the right to remove any post at any time for any reason, and will restrict access of registered users who repeatedly violate our terms.

  • OpEdNews welcomes lively, CIVIL discourse. Personal attacks and/or hate speech are not tolerated and may result in banning.
  • Comments should relate to the content above. Irrelevant, off-topic comments are a distraction, and will be removed.
  • By submitting this comment, you agree to all OpEdNews rules, guidelines and policies.
Connect with Facebook     Connect with Twitter            Register with Facebook     Register with Twitter

Comment:   

You can enter 2000 characters. To remove limit, please click here.

Please login or register. Afterwards, your comment will be published.
 
Username
Password

Forgot your password? Click here and we will send an email to the address you used when you registered.
First Name
Last Name

I am at least 16 years of age
(make sure username & password are filled in. Note that username must be an email address.)

No comments  Post Comment

 
Want to post your own comment on this Article? Post Comment