LEST OUR HEADS GET SWOLLEN, REMEMBER
1 in 6.3 BILLIONTH OF HUMANITY EQUALS ME, YOU OR ANY ONE OF US ON PLANET EARTH!
The old Swedish saying, "Ve get so soon old and yet so late schmart", certainly applies to me in my life. At the age of 82 plus it is sobering to stop and grasp the reality of how insignificant each of us are in relationship to the total mass of humanity treading this million plus year old planet.
In midlife I had my crisis as many males do realizing that I had just allowed myself to cruise along without any special effort to make a name for myself. One would have to say that is the course of life for the majority of humanity, live and let live.
Yet driving me in the dark recesses of my brain was some vague thought that I had some significant duty to perform for the God of my dreams. I couldn't put my finger on it because it had happened like a burst of light and then fading into grey and mystery within moments, months and years so that by the time of my midlife crises I could only remember I had spoken to some image of an otherworldly dimension.
Unfortunately for me I was raised Mormon and I learned that God can call one to a mission in this life. A calling of one life out of those 6.3 billion lives performing a function primarily for the benefit or protection of those 6.3 billion others. Such a thought would be a burden to the mind if believed and I was trained to believe.
Predestination is a term used to explain the roles many of us in making a mark in this world like Steven Jobs whom we recently lost. Did he have any specific precognitive concept of his goal in life? I don't know, perhaps he did. If he didn't then his contribution to the progress of the world was a natural outgrowth of his intelligence and curiosity. That is to say he didn't have the burden of a belief that he had some mission to fulfill. What propelled him? Was it in the idea of fame or fortune as drives so many among us?
Unlike predestination, the Mormon concept of a directed life, that is a life directed by other-worldly sources, is called for-ordination. That is, that one is fore-ordained of God to perform some function in life which she or he has a calling to do but which she or he may choose not to do as an act of free agency. Yet the "knowing" of a call to mission especially when it is in the foggy recesses of the brain can become a burden to the one called. Keeping in mind the one in six point three billionth percentages of humanity and one's personal insignificance is a challenge.
At age twenty I was called to a mission in the UK by George Albert Smith then president of the Mormon Church. I served two years but unlike most missionaries I was called to a temporal mission in acting as the Mission architect providing meeting facilities for some dozen or so branches of the church. Most significant was the participation in the change of mindset to expand the temple presence of the church outside the western hemisphere by doing the initial legwork for the London Temple in 1951. I kept the secret but little did I know that issue would burden me in later life. In fact it was later discovered to be in contradiction of the deeply embedded sense of mission that had bugged me for some dozen years by that time.
A wife and five children later in 1966, my sense of crisis blossomed and I sought some credential by which I would be accepted in performing that sense of mission which I still had no recollection of. Later as a credentialed attorney, on April 2, 1976 I shook the church with the public ordination of a young black man to forbidden priesthood. That was a struggled decision which I made after five years of seeking counsel of church leaders which was denied me so I was left with my own conscience to act upon. Shortly after this I gained a recall of that fuzzy otherworldly "event" which then set me in opposition to most of what Mormonism stands for.
A couple of years later the church reversed itself on forbidden black priesthood by seeking "worthy" black male members to ordain. I had been given to understand that the main meat of my mission was to act to prevent the coup d'e'tat of the church in capturing control of the government of the United States and later of the world vis-a-vis the military might of the U.S. thereby establishing it's concept of the "Kingdom of God" on earth with the church leader as earth "king".
Since 1968 when Mormon George Romney, Mitt's father, ran for president I have been faced with the realization that the Mormon coup d'e'tat which my fuzzy experience taught me was to be stopped or curtailed is an ever present danger in our society.
At age 82, I am seeing and feeling those little signs of aging which bother me and cause me to want to pass off on my sense of foreordained mission. There are others out there with younger minds who can do a better job. I know they exist by other-worldly info. You can all simply come together by contacting me at firstname.lastname@example.org and making yourselves known. I will then put you together to accomplish this. One need not be anti-Mormon, simply anti-fascist and anti-theocratic.
As for me I am unable to do more than to give direction yet I will persist to death even though I am 1 in 6.3 billionth of humanity. As I type this I just learned that Gov. Chris Christie is to announce his endorsement of Mitt Romney for President!!!