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OpEdNews Op Eds    H2'ed 9/24/20

LEE CAMP: What's the Difference Between "Villain" Assange & "Intrepid" Woodward?

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CNN's Wolf Blitzer hosting Bod Woodward in 2012.
CNN's Wolf Blitzer hosting Bod Woodward in 2012.
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The completely fair super awesome trial of Julian Assange continues in the U.K. as I write this. It's a beautiful blend of the works of Kafka, Stalin and Joseph Heller.

Seeing as Julian is kept in a glass container in the courtroom, like a captured cockroach, maybe Kafka wins the day.

The court clearly must keep Julian in that giant Tic-Tac container because he's undoubtedly as dangerous as Hannibal Lecter. If he weren't in there, no one would know when he might lurch forward and PUBLISH SOMETHING THAT'S TOTALLY TRUE!


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What they're deciding in this trial is whether Assange should be extradited to the United States, or "kidnapped" as the kids call it these days.

If he is lovingly black-bagged by our government, they have promised he will face 175 years in prison if convicted by another super rad show trial presided over by an American government puppet judge. (A puppet judge is just like a real judge but they've got the government so far up their backside they can taste the Cheetos.)

Countless excitable activists out there say this persecution of Julian Assange is unheard of. They're acting like no journalist has ever been prosecuted under the Espionage Act. They're acting like it's unprecedented for the U.S. to go after a journalist who's not even a U.S. citizen and has never operated his organization from the U.S. They're acting like it's ridiculous to add on new superseding indictments days before the trial begins.

But all the people saying that are ...um... correct. Yeah, they nailed it. (Sorry for the buildup -- I thought that paragraph would come out differently.)

Two Journalists

Right now, one journalist, Julian Assange, is on trial while being held in a maximum security prison in London. Another journalist, Bob Woodward, is in a very different situation. The liberal Establishment is preparing to chisel his likeness out of a small boulder and display it next to the Lincoln Memorial. They love him because he got President Donald Trump to do interviews wherein Trump, as always, sounds like a lying buffoon. Among other things the president admits he knew COVID-19 was "deadly stuff" back in at least February, but played it down anyway.

But this is nothing new. Every time Bob Woodward puts out a book, the mainstream media fan-girls all over him. Myriad kings and queens of televised logorrhea describe him as a "veteran reporter," a "famed reporter," or "synonymous with investigative journalism!"

So what's the difference between liberal-hero journalist Bob Woodward and dastardly evil villain cannibal-pedophile Julian Assange (who Hillary Clinton famously said we should drone bomb)?

Well, Julian is on trial for obtaining and disclosing classified information from the U.S. government. Liberal superhero Bob Woodward would never do such a thing like that! "Oh, that's right. He actually said in his own online journalism class "I have rarely found a significant story where there isn't a document. ...Often you can't get it because it's classified but... it's there, and if you can get somebody to assist you, it will indeed help you with your story. ...The hardest documents [to get] are intelligence documents. ...And I've had them and printed them."

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Lee Camp is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and activist. He is the host of the weekly comedy news show Redacted Tonight with Lee Camp on RT America and he also hosts the Common Censored podcast with Eleanor (more...)
 

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