Dear John (can I call you John?):
Do you like green eggs and ham? I'm sure you do! No? But I know you don't like that wascally wabbit Obama. He's so wascally that he caused a deranged, mixed up, homophobic young man to go pop! pop! pop! In a nightclub in Orlando and kill 48 people. That's just plain wrong, eh Johnny boy? And he did it all from the Oval Office! Did you see the size of his magic wand? He sure could do "Puff The Magic Dragon!"
Awwww, that Obama guy is so wascally that he did not bomb Syria like you told him, and look what happened! See? You told him! And he did not bomb Iraq enough when he had the chance; then he up and pulled out the troops! And he stopped bombing Libya just as things were going so well! Then he had the nerve to go on television and tell YOU how to fight ISIL! Why the nerve of that man! Does not know that you're a war hero, even though Donald Trump says you're not?
That wascally Obama done gone and say that since ISIL started to terrorize people in Araq he's killed 120 of their leaders and B-52 bombers are hitting them with precision strikes every day. John, I know you love your bombing. I know that you get a rush with just the thought of bombing. I know, I know. You're still sore at him for not bombing in the Ukraine. And we should be bombing more in Yemen. What's it gonna take to make this wascally Obama lead and act?
The killing of gays in Orlando is all his damn fault! I mean, where does he get off telling us about gun control. Why if here were armed gays in the bar, night club? In Orlando they could of taken out the bad guy! But nooooo. All this malarkey about background checks, safety locks, waiting periods, gun control and all kinds of anti-Second Amendment nonsense. Oh, and there's that whole thing that Republicans love the Second Amendment too much to deny even terrorists the right to assault rifles!
Obama IS the enemy in the White House and he's to blame for EVERYTHING. I mean, do you still love green eggs and ham? Oh, sorry we spoke about this already! Yeah. I mean, you and your party and your colleagues in the senate are serious about fighting terror, right? Okay? So how come you and your sad bunch of jokers have not even allowed a vote on Adam Szubin the man the wascally Obama nominated for the Undersecretary for Terrorism and Financial Intelligence? And that wascally Obama just gets your goat! Here's what he said in his speech after the murders in Orlando.
"It is absolutely true, we cannot prevent every tragedy. But we know that consistent with the Second Amendment, there are common sense steps that could reduce gun violence and could reduce the lethality of somebody who intends to do other people harm. We should give ATF the resources they need to enforce the gun laws that we already have.
"People with possible ties to terrorism, who are not allowed on a plane, should not be allowed to buy a gun. Enough talking about being tough on terrorism. Actually be tough on terrorism and stop making it easy as possible for terrorists to buy assault weapons.
"Reinstate the assault weapons ban, make it harder for terrorists to use these weapons to kill us. Otherwise, despite extraordinary efforts across our government, by local law enforcement, by our intelligence agencies, by our military -- despite all the sacrifices that folks make, these kinds of events are going to keep on happening. And the weapons are only going to get more powerful."
You and the Republican response? I love it! Just love it!
THE PRESIDENT CANNOT SAY RADICAL ISLAM! All together now. One, two, and three! THE PRESIDENT CANNOT SAY RADICAL ISLAM! THE PREIDENT CANNOT SAY RADICAL ISLAM!
Oh, brother! Is that all it takes to fight terrorism? To prevent guns from getting in the hands of people who should not have them? Like the general public for instance? Oh heck, Johnny boy I WANT GUN CONTROL. I want to control people outside of law enforcement and the army and the US Marines and Navy and prevent them from walking to Wal-Mart and leave with an AR-15 rifle and a large capacity magazine. That's not being anti-Second Amendment. That's being SENSIBLE and using common sense. Yes, John there is gun control in England and here's the contrast?: as of now there have been over 6,000 gun deaths here in the good ole US of A. In England? about 126 for the whole of last year.
Johnny, Johnny here in America we do NOT love guns. WE'RE ADDICTED TO GUNS. And as with any addiction we first have to admit that we have an addiction in order to find a cure. And as with any addiction the addict becomes fixated on the next fix, ergo, we can't get enough guns. With 340 million guns in private hands, American is armed to the teeth like no other nation in history. Meanwhile the National Rifle Association (NRA) are you a card-carrying member John? Would have us believe that we still need more guns!
But I know you can't even consider Obama's simple, extremely limited, Band-Aid recommendations. Nah. After all these mass shootings are the fair price Americans pay for the "right to bear arms" and, I might add, to own an AR-15 or AK-47 assault rifle. Peachy. And we need our guns for personal protection, right? And what about the Second Amendment and protection against tyranny? We need many guns to defend ourselves against the dastardly government. Johnny boy, you simply must think about buying a tank. And a rocket launcher. And a mortar. And a pair of matching, pearl handle Colt 45s.
Now I know you don't like dear ole Donald Trump but I think you will agree that he really bashed that wascally Obama when his response to the Orlando Massacre was"wait for it"tada! CALL IT RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM! Yep, the three magic words that will make terrorism go away. Instead of fighting terror we'll just do some uncomplicated, no frills word-bombing!
So I guess what I'm really trying to say is that even as you guys in the Republican party go off half-cocked (there's that gun lingo again) and float ideas that your alcoholically merry uncle can come up with at a Thanksgiving soiree, please try not to let so much nonsense come out of your buccal cavity.
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