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Joe Miller Is Mine!

By       Message Tom Aiken     Permalink
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Joe Miller Is Mine!

There comes a time in every man's (or woman's) life when Destiny knocks, an inescapable summons that will shape everything from that point forward. It can't be ignored or dismissed or disdained, this calling. Eventually, it must be obeyed.

Joe Miller is mine.

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Chances like this only come along once or twice a lifetime and like the wind they sweep down from out of nowhere to upend the bubble you call an existence, shattering it into a million pieces as your fate spits dust and grime and the realization "Destiny" is actually going to be very hard work indeed.

Joe Miller is mine.

But after the initial blow the energy simmers some, the heat now a low, steady flame, orange and yellow at its tip, A sense of resolve, of determination, sets in. At last you know why you exist, what your calling really is, what you are as a person, a place, a thing -- that moment in time when it's oh-so-clear, a dark night suddenly illuminated by a thousand stars...

Yes, the Senator-maybe from Alaska, Joe Miller, is all mine.

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Now before we go jumping to conclusions here, allow me to clarify. This is a declaration of ownership via divine appointment... no more, no less -- real "it-came-to-me-in-a-dream" stuff. And if the Lord desires me to serve Him by attacking, vilifying, degrading and insulting Joe Miller every chance I get, well, I'm more than happy to comply. I did, after all, see him coming.

Joe Miller doesn't need me to help him look stupid or perverse or authoritarian. So far he's doing a fine job all by himself.

Let's take a look at the parade of lies, falsehoods, mis-steps and outright fascistic tendencies that characterize this creature we call "Joe Miller":

It's not like Joe Miller wasn't trying to get a jump on things in advance. In fact, he only recently fessed up to extensive digital high jinx during the 2008 Alaskan Republican Party primaries. According to The Anchorage Daily News' Sean Cockerham "Republican U.S. Senate nominee Joe Miller admitted that in 2008 he lied after being caught using Fairbanks North Star Borough computers for political purposes while he was working as a part-time Borough lawyer."

Joe Miller's confession only exacerbated the problem:

"I lied about accessing all of the computers. I then admitted about accessing the computers, but lied about what I was doing. Finally I admitted what I did."

Say what? Sometimes people should just keep their mouths shut. But it gets worse. What was Joe Miller doing "accessing" said computers in the first place? Why, voting for himself, repeatedly, in a bid for chairmanship of the Alaskan Republican Party, of course.

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From that auspicious (and, again, only recently acknowledged) dawn Joe Miller began to fashion a place for himself on the Alaskan political tundra, building on time honored ideals and an old fashioned conservatism that eschews accursed governmental support and interference. Organizing a campaign representing himself as an answer to Republican Senator and favorite daughter Nancy Murkowski's Rino-ism, the candidate posed as a man of the people. The people began to respond favorably.

The public response, however, might have been tempered had Joe Miller's actual behavior been known at the time. His valiant stand against governmental funding of any type doesn't, apparently, extend to his own family business activities. A native of Kansas, Joe Miller still maintains a couple of thousand family acres on that verdant prairie all with the help of extensive government subsidies. Could he turn these offers down? Certainly. Does he turn these offers down? Certainly not.

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Tom Aiken is a writer based in Austin, Texas. He has written for numerous publications including The Village Voice, Heavy Metal amd M'Zine (RIP). Mr. Aiken also has a spanking new blog -- AikenLand -- for publication of his more unpublishable work. (more...)

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