Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 3 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Life Arts   

House Speaker to Sue Google for Defamation of Character According to Leeked Documents Obtained by New York Writer

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)     (# of views)   5 comments
Author 86839
Follow Me on Twitter     Message David R Yale
House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) is considering a lawsuit against search engine giant Google because its Translate service mispronounces his name.
John Boehner - They're saying my name worng.
John Boehner - They're saying my name worng.
(Image by DonkeyHotey)
  Details   DMCA

John Boehner - They're saying my name worng. by DonkeyHotey

Boehner insists the pronunciation is Bain-er. Google's Translate service pronounces it Boh-nir, like the slang word for, well, you know. "Google is flat out wrong. The only people who pronounce my name that way are poorly-educated 47 percent takers," Boehner says.
"Bainer? Like Romney is Bain and the House Speaker is Bainer? Rhymes with no-brainer, insaner, disdainer, and raising Cainer? Like I help the noble 1%, so I'm the gainer?" says David R. Yale, author of the award-winning book, Pun Enchanted Evenings: 746 Original Word Plays.
"Even if you go back to the language this name was derived from, German, the pronunciation is like Boner with a slight accent," says pundit Yale.
Yale's unnamed source recovered the leeked documents from a Washington DC restaurant's garbage can. "Someone tried to obliterate them by pouring an onion-smelling soup over the pages. But they were apparently produced on a laser printer with indelible ink," Yale says.
In addition to the legal brief outlining the grounds for Boehner's legal action, there is a note from Majority Leader Eric Cantor. "Do not talk about grounds in any context, John," Cantor's note says. "Grounds are associated with the far left coffee party. But I agree that Google mispronounces names. Mine should be said as 'Can't-err.'"
The documents also include a lab report from Boehner's doctor, indicating the Speaker has an over-developed vaguest nerve. "That may explain why the Speaker is so skimpy with details about Republican alternatives to Democratic legislation," Yale says.
The documents shed unusual light on Boehner's outsized chokehold on the legislative process. In a secret ceremony the day he was sworn in as Speaker, he had a huge bottle of hot beverage placed on his desk. "My jar o' tea rules," he thundered, glaring at members of the Tea Party factshun. "Thank God, in America we have a system that protects us from the popular vote. And thank God we still have a Just Us Department on our side."
"We can't let ignorant people diss us," Boehner continued at the secret session. "They call us 'politushans" and "legis-laters.' But this is not an easy job, and I demand respect."

 

Funny 2   Must Read 1   Valuable 1  
Rate It | View Ratings

David R Yale Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Author of "Pun Enchanted Evenings," winner of the 2011 Global eBook Award for humor. Writer of biting political satires. Born with both a punny bone and a humor wrist.
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Follow Me on Twitter     Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

House Speaker to Sue Google for Defamation of Character According to Leeked Documents Obtained by New York Writer