Panic at AARP, Retirement Homes, Bingo Halls. GOP: Joyful, 'Vindicated'
In a staggering decision rippling well beyond the Obama Health Care legislation under review, the Supreme Court today ruled unconstitutional the vast bulk of "the wild, federal over-reaching" spanning the past century. Dumping both 20th C. Constitutional amendments (including women's suffrage and the federal income tax) plus landmark social programs (Social Security, Medicare, Unemployment Insurance, Civil and Voting Rights Plus Obamacare), the High Court dramatized its long-term frustration with "judicial pussyfooting, let alone sending out one more of its impenetrable decisions," in one legal beagle's rendition.
Cognizant this decision induces our worst Constitutional crisis since 1861, the majority 5-4 opinion penned by Justice Antonin Scalia was unapologetic:
When in the course of human events a political system betrays its founding truths, riddled with encrusted contradictions, then national pride, if not survival obliges the best among us to come together and return us to first principles, however severe the reformation. We have endured long enough the 20th Century spectacle of gross violations that turned upside down all legitimate originalist intentions. If the Founders wanted federal income taxes, voting rights bills, or medical giveaways to the needy, they would have found the words. Ditto: women's suffrage or open election of senators. Considering the dismal quality of recent presidents, forbidding the best ones the option of serving a third term violates the spirit of democracy and majority rule.
Veteran court observers were gobsmacked, conceding "entitlements" like Health Care and Medicare were done for. Appearing non-partisan, the court struck down not just federal taxation, science research and space exploration, but corporate farming, mining and oil subsidies, plus housing and poverty support, welfare and unemployment insurance programs. For the first time in months, the President and GOP leaders agreed: a second Constitutional Convention is imperative, though who would set the agenda or attend was not clear.
"No question this here's an A-bomb to federalism, to big spending, liberal over-reach, and the whole, sick, socialist-Kenyan welfare state," chirped Michele Bachmann, top GOP candidate, "Time for tough love, ending oppressive taxation, attacks on church-based moral values, plus endless intrusions on our freedom, like any state's right to criminalize baby killing. Nothing better advances my candidacy, as the most zealously committed to small, hopeless, limited government. My, my, what a miracle -- wiping out the bad 50% of government with the speed of the Rapture."
National Security Unimpaired
The Defense Dept. got off unscathed, as the Court allowed even the most minimalist government must secure borders, both domestic and imperial battle lines. Likewise, Treasury remains, to collect what taxes remain and write checks for military interventions, plus State (for correspondence only) and Justice (to indict whistleblowers and terrorists). Perhaps most shocking of all, the Court "set aside" every 20th C. Constitutional amendment, "suspending them entirely" until unspecified "irregularities" of their approval process, "assuredly abhorrent to the Founders," are repaired. Wholly unclear is whether women will vote in the interim reconstruction period.