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Life Arts    H4'ed 7/12/19

Here's Why Trump Called off the Attack

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Speculation's rife on why Don called it off,
Everyone on everyone's theory to scoff,
So instead of trusting experts so-called,
I called an old buddy who's suit-and-tie bald,
Who gave me the skinny thorough and proper,
For he was there holding Don's Double Whopper.
He tells me clear that at the very last min',
The Kremlin hot line began ringing like sin.
To Don Vlad talked turk for ten minutes no less,
And said that he thought the attack was B.S.:
"The last thing I need's a call from Rouhani,
Asking me to come to the rescue Irani'."
Don told Vlad he could just send the guy packing,
The attack was only a little base-whacking,
Something guys do for Saturday-night fun,
A lark, a laugh, or what they called a "milk run,"
But no sooner'd he hung up than Xi checked in,
Worried his supplier would get kicked in the shin.
"What the hell is this?" Don hissed sharp to the room,
"Does everyone know we're about to let boom?"
The Chinese wouldn't stand for a single attack,
So Don could go and tell his jets to turn back.
"We do as we please, my little grasshopper,
You guys can make iPhones, but no decent Whopper."
"That's tellin 'em, Chief!" all cried in the room,
When into the Oval Ivanka did zoom,
Eyes full of tears, lovely mouth all a-jag,
"Father, please tell me this invasion's a gag!
My fashion firm has its fall runway tomorrow!
It'll get buried if the news is all sorrow!"
Don hem-hawed and said, "Can you let the show slide?
Just for three days until the news has all dried."
But I. stomped her foot, scowled and dug in high heel:
"I've got models and venues and it's all a done deal!"
So with minutes to go Don asked in half-moan,
"Guys, how many people will die for that drone?"


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"11/9 and the Terrorist Who Loved Bonsai Trees" is Philip Kraske's just-published novel. It can be found at his website:

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2 people are discussing this page, with 2 comments  Post Comment

Robert Cogan

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(Member since Sep 14, 2007), 3 fans, 52 articles, 198 comments, 64 diaries
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I Like this. We need humor. Here are Trump chants, most made up by me, for use in coming demonstrations: Juvenile chants just won't do. Lock him up in a Zoo. Gorilla, Snake, Trump and Hippo too. Racist, Sexist, anti-gay, Donald Trump, go away! Boris and Natasha across the street Go on home and tweet, tweet, tweet! Campaign Promises made of spite There's no way to make 'em right. With promises made in hate Your downfall we await. Shut your Tweet hole, Get outta sight! The Cold War was a terrifying fight, Russia and Us went head to head They were gonna bury us, so they said Gave us all the nuclear fright! Trump ignored Cold War to cozy up Made Putin offers for campaign help. Now if Putin can't be the U.S.'s Boss, Moscow Trump Tower goes sour and it's Donald Trump's loss! Elections should be all our own. Doubt about that trolls have shown. Race and sex, malice toward some You dredged up crap that is dumb! Dupes and Stupes do Putin's works Nobody here but American jerks! Putin troll,or Trump chump, which were you? You gave Amerikkka a Russki screw!

Submitted on Friday, Jul 12, 2019 at 11:58:35 PM

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Philip Kraske

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(Member since Aug 17, 2011), 5 fans, 145 articles, 104 comments
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Reply to Robert Cogan:   New Content

Hi Robert.

You have a future in poetry! I especially liked the one about Trump Tower.


Submitted on Saturday, Jul 13, 2019 at 6:34:05 AM

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