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Hannity Agrees to be Waterboarded: Let the Procedures Begin

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Message Bill Hare

At long last I can agree with a comment from Fox News, creators of fiction posing as informational television.

Sean Hannity, in an interview with former MSNBC program host and longtime actor Charles Grodin on April 22, has said, in response to the latter’s question, that he would agree to be waterboarded with proceeds going to families of those who served in the Iraq War.

Keith Olbermann has agreed to pay $1,000 for every second that Hannity endures of a procedure that has been defined as torture under international law and the United States military for years.

These cases of U.S. military court martial activity have occurred as far back as 1898 and the Spanish-American War according to comments made by Olbermann in his April 23 broadcast.

Hannity takes the same position as that of Dick Cheney that waterboarding is a useful technique and does not constitute torture.  It has been defined by experts on the topic as “simulated death.”

With Hannity agreeing to participate in this technique that he is convinced does not constitute torture, let us commend him for his efforts on behalf of providing charitable assistance.  Hopefully he will not need to be reminded of his willingness.  If he needs reminding, it is up to the citizenry to remain vigilant and hold him to his promise.

Another point should also be made.  Since we are only talking about procedure and the object is charitable pursuit then perhaps Sean will indicate willingness to multiple procedures.

Just how many procedures should occur in this process?

Given Sean’s willingness, a good benchmark standard would be the apparent record under current available facts governing this procedure that allegedly does not fall under the purview of torture according to Hannity and Cheney along with other members of the vigilant political right.

Therefore, it would be only fitting and proper if Hannity would agree to 184 procedures since it is not torture in the first place and he can enhance his bona fides as a dispenser of charity.

There is one other determined spokesperson from the right who shares your passion, Sean.  I will not name him, but am willing to provide an identity clue.

He lives in Texas and was pictured on video pumping his right fist in the air as the initial bombing assault was launched in Baghdad while exclaiming, “Feels good!”

I have an idea, Sean.  Once you have shattered the old record of 183 for this non-tortuous procedure then this individual from Texas can thereafter seek to best your record.

Does that sound right, Sean?  Fine, let the first procedure commence forthwith!   



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Began in the journalism field in hometown of Los Angeles. Started as Sports Editor and Movie Writer at Inglewood Daily News chain after working in sportswriting of high school events at the Los Angeles Examiner.

Received a bachelor's in (more...)
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