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Good Health: Too Big to Allow

By Marc Eisner  Posted by jerry baxter (about the submitter)       (Page 1 of 5 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   5 comments

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View Ratings | Rate It Headlined to H2 8/20/09

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Americans are great. Really. They deserve everything they get. Big cars. Big debt. Big guns. Big mental depressions. Big waistlines. And most sadly, bad health.

"Fight for your right to be un cared for!" Maybe the words don't seem so eloquent, but that is in essence what many are saying, or at least, the most vocal.

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"I don't want the government involved in my health. It's a step towards Communism!" Yep, that ol' Socialism booger. We already entrust the government with way too much, and I refuse to give them any more. We trust them with our children's education, let them support us when we lose our jobs, get them to put out the fire when our houses are burning, let them manage the natural splendor of the country, allow them to round up all the criminals, and have them provide the defense of the nation. But we gotta draw the line with regards to trusting these inept bureaucrats we've somehow chosen to lead us when it comes to our actual lives and deaths (not that any of those other social programs involve our lives and deaths...). I mean, dammit, we've gone too far already and I refuse to pay one cent more which will collectively benefit this great country. I just hate social programs for the common good, don't you?

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So here's my prediction: any nationalized health care plan in the US is doomed to fail. Obama should give up this futile and evil agenda, and direct this action elsewhere, where it'd be more effective. (Being involved in people's health is clearly a nasty weapon. Maybe instead of diabolically trying to save the lives of Americans, he can save the foreigners we loath instead. Yeah, he should be exporting this social welfare crap to all the people we despise. Maybe we can have the CIA set up these nasty health programs in the countries of our enemies, and let them wonderfully fail. How dreadful for them indeed! Imagine places like Cuba, and China, and Venezuela, and France, and... er... those bastards!)

Well, maybe its a questionable weapon (hey, get the boys at Lockheed Martin to work on that...), but the president must understand that people don't want health to be a civil right, like education, suffrage, or religious tolerance. They prefer it a commodity, not his Stalin-esque vision. The US is the land of Capitalism, where even the human body has a price tag. You can't take this away, Mr. Obamageddon, as its the base ideology which unifies everyone. Ensuring the good health of the citizenry is not what this country is all about. Money is.

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Jerry Baxter is a graduate student at UCLA, studying International Relations.

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