Reprinted from Mike Malloy
Did you know monster energy drinks were tools of Satan? Well, just look at the name! It's a monster, right? And the logo looks like a demonic claw mark, so ... obviously the beastly brew is actually the devil's attempt to infiltrate Christian homes.
Raw Story has more:
"In a viral video elaborating upon a long-held belief by some Christians that Monster Energy drinks are somehow affiliated with the work of Satan, a woman explains the clues the manufacturer of the popular energy-boosting drink have hidden on the can.
"Beginning with breaks in the letter 'M,' the woman explains that it symbolizes the Hebrew letter vav -- the sixth letter in the Hebrew alphabet -- as she maintains that the three now-broken bars of the 'm' stand for 666, the Sign of the Beast. She later notes how this ties in with the drink's advertising slogan: Unleash the beast.- Advertisement -
"Turning to the 'o' in the word 'monster' she draws attention to a cross piercing it and poses the question as to what Christ, as symbolized by the cross, has to do with an energy drink company. She then notes that the can has the letters 'BFC' at the base which she explains stands for 'Big f*cking can,' while she draws attention to to size of the 24 fl. oz can
"After displaying the bulk packaging for the drinks, she notes the promotional copy which states, 'MILF's dig it, and you will too,' before concluding, 'This is not a Christian company.'
"She goes on to state that the manufacturers are using the popularity of the highly-caffeinated drinks to enter into Christian homes. 'This is how clever Satan is. And how he gets into the Christan home, and a Christian's life, and it breaks God's heart,' she explains."
Oh no, God is heartbroken because we're slurping demonic energy drinks. This poor dear has been listening to too many backwards Beetles albums.
Is the Lord also crestfallen about Mozilla's Chrome Browser? GASP -- our computers are carrying demon seeds! We knew the NSA was buried in our hard drives, but Beelzebub, too?
I remember the campaign to boycott Proctor and Gamble products in the 1980's because the moon and stars logo was purportedly another one of Satan's signatures.
I've often wondered about the kooks who see spooky symbols hiding everywhere (Glenn Beck comes to mind), be they the Holy Virgin in a piece of toast, or Jesus on a billboard advertising spaghetti and meatballs, or Satan in a soft drink, why do they think these powerful supernatural beings need to stoop to such mortal lows as to engage the advertisers in their magical works?
Why would God -- or Satan -- need graphic artists and copywriters to deliver their metaphysical messages? Why not a thunderbolt, or a rain of fire and brimstone, or burning bush, a seven-headed beast, or fiery wheel in the sky? Or at least a vomiting Linda Blair ... heck, even Mel Gibson?
Ah, we are not to understand the mind of God, or the tools of the Dark One either. But we can join together on a thrilling theme-park ride that celebrates the power of the Almighty, can't we? Find Jesus on the great Ferris Wheel in the sky? Ken Ham, the creative Christian genius behind the Creation Museum is praying you will.