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GE to Acquire US Government

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Washington DC, April 1st; Following on the announcements of Comcast's acquisition of NBC/Universal, and Microsoft's acquisition of Apple, financial analysts reported today that GE was in talks to acquire the Federal Government. Jeffrey Immelt, the CEO of GE and the White House Business Czar was said to be in talks with US CEO Barak Obama on the details of the acquisition.

A GE spokesperson who asked not to be named due to the sensitive nature of the talks said that the US government could be purchased for pennies on the dollar now, and that the merger would be good for the economy.

The spokesperson was quoted as saying, "When it comes to corporations, fewer is better, and bigger is better. The acquisition of the federal government will allow GE to expand its business into new areas, including declaring war and monetizing high unemployment through taxation of the unemployed. It's a win-lose situation for us and workers, which is something we find attractive".

No word yet on US CEO Barak Obama's proposed salary or stock options in the new enterprise. 

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John R. Moffett PhD is a research neuroscientist in the Washington, DC area. Dr. Moffett's main area of research focuses on the brain metabolite N-acetylaspartate, and an associated genetic disorder known as Canavan disease.

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