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From Alice's Restaurant to Dante's Cafe

By       Message Stephen Pizzo       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   6 comments

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These days, when I pick up my morning paper, I feel like I'm reading a surreal menu of woe penned by Dante Alighieri himself.

Welcome to Dante's Restaurant

Pick Your Poison

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Today's Special

Fire-roasted Russian landscape with smoked Russians and blackened garnish.
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From Our Menu:

(Your Choice!) Muddy-water marinated Pakistanis or Chinese, garnished with water chestnuts steamed in septic laced free-range water.

Soup of Poland: AnOpaque favorite spiked with fresh floaters. followed by mud-pie topped with creme-de-misery

Foreclosure Succotash: Bank-baked foreclosure-succotash served with either deep-fried nervous systems or sad salad.

Half-baked Palin-patties: served cold over a bed of wilted locoweed.

(Popular!) Our famous Bankruptcy Burger: Made with meat bred, grown and nurtured on the lush money-green lawns of the District of Columbia!

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Unemployment Toffee: Small helpings for the budget minded -- no nutritional value to speak of, but you'll be back for more!

Double-dip Sandwich -- You know it, because you've had it before. by unpopular demand, it's baaaacccck!

The 401K platter: (Sorry. Discontinued)

Afghanistan Quagmire Stew: prepared daily with only meat and ingredients flown in FRESH Daily from US suppliers.

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Stephen Pizzo has been published everywhere from The New York Times to Mother Jones magazine. His book, Inside Job: The Looting of America's Savings and Loans, was nominated for a (more...)

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