For God's Sake

We have a slew of stories from the far-flung-fringes of the Rapture Right to share with you, so make sure you have your prayer towel and paper fan ready, it's going to get hot under the revival tent tonight, true believers.

Did you hear the one about the Christian radio host who was caught with his hand in the, er, in the...well, where his hand had no business being? Yes, John Baylo was the morning host on WCSG Radio, a Grand Rapids Christian radio station. He has confessed his sins and admitted that he raped a little boy. Suffer the little children, indeed.

The Battle Creek Enquirer has more:

"A former Grand Rapids-area Christian radio host admitted to raping a 12-year-old boy, the Calhoun County prosecutor said Monday.

"John Balyo, 35, of Caledonia, was ordered Monday to be held without bond after Prosecutor David Gilbert said Balyo made incriminating statements to investigators.

"'The defendant did make admissions to count one of the complaint,' Gilbert told Calhoun County District Court Magistrate David Heiss during Balyo's arraignment.

"The former host of a program on WCSG-FM, a Christian radio station associated with Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, Balyo was arrested Friday in Gaylord at a Christian music event."

That must've been a disturbing perp walk -- to see one of your sacred radio hosts handcuffed and hauled away at a Christian concert. Perhaps Mr. Baylo should've considered the priesthood, where an army of soldiers for the Lord would've protected his pedophillic proclivities from public prosecution.

Speaking of Christian Rock criminals, there's the Holy Roller from Toronto...It's a juicy one -- has a little of everything -- sex, rock-n-roll, murder, and fakery. Sounds like a Danielle Steel novel. But it's real. I think. Hard to tell.

Tim Lambesis was the frontman for the Canadian Christian rock band As I Lay Dying. The band enjoyed some limited success in the Christian rock genre, then Tim had to go and screw everything up by plotting to murder his wife, then confessing that he's a closet atheist only pretending to be am evangelical to make money.

I hate when that happens.

Check out the YouTube Channel by the Amazing Atheist (TJ Kincaid). There's a lot of great stuff there, in addition to the Lambesis soap opera. As Kincaid put it: "I guess [Lambesis] asked himself 'What would Jesus do?' and Jesus said, 'I'd kill my f---ing ex-wife.'" You can't make this stuff up, Truthseeker.

Okay, ready for one more? Have you seen the commercials for "Christian Mingle," the online dating service reserved for the born-agains who seek their soulmates in fellow followers of Christ?

Here's one match the TV commercials aren't likely to publicize. Subscriber Sean Banks, a former Navy Lieutenant, was found guilty of rape, two counts of sexual assault, burglary, and attempted rape. But Banks did present a unique -- if not convincing -- defense: one of the women he attacked thought he was Jesus, so it was all good. Plus, he felt like he had to sexually assault her because if he didn't, it might hurt her feelings or lower her self esteem.

George Will would be proud of this one, wouldn't he? The slut was asking for it ... going on a date with him and all that.