Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 8 Share on Twitter 4 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds    H2'ed 8/27/12

EXPOSED: Official Game Rules of American Politics (satire)

By       (Page 1 of 3 pages)     (# of views)   6 comments
Author 19818
Message Carmen Yarrusso
- Advertisement -

Editor's note: WikiLeaks just released excerpts from a top secret government document titled: "Official Rules and Strategies of American Politics". Most Americans don't realize politics is a game and like any legitimate game, it has official rules and strategies. Obviously our politicians don't want us to know the secret inner workings of this complex game. Outraged members of Congress urged the UK to storm Ecuador 's London embassy and arrest Julian Assange for crimes against humanity.

A senator on the Foreign Relations Committee angrily condemned Assange saying, "Releasing embarrassing video of a US Apache helicopter cutting innocent Iraqis to pieces with a 30mm cannon was appalling, but Assange has now gone way beyond the bounds of human decency." Despite several members of Congress threatening to use the Espionage Act against any media daring to publish these excerpts, our editorial staff decided Americans must know the truth.


(Image by Unknown Owner)   Details   DMCA

- Advertisement -

Flickr image By msmail


Official Rules and Strategies of American Politics (Rev. 9.11.01)

- Advertisement -

Foreword

The game of American Politics is played by skilled politicians (called players), but controlled by an elite ruling class of oligarchs (called owners). The game is comparable in many ways to pro baseball, except there are only two competing teams (called Republicans and Democrats). Like pro baseball, 1) the players work for the owners, not for the people who finance the game, 2) the players are well paid (especially highly skilled players), but the big profits go to the owners, and, 3) like baseball, the big profits in American Politics come from the pockets of the masses of people observing the game (called fans).

Like pro baseball, the owners (not the fans) get to choose the players. But in the game of American Politics, the fans occasionally get to pretend they choose the players through a process called voting. In fact, they only get to vote for an extremely narrow field of players pre-approved by the owners.

Many fans enjoy this voting phase of the game as much as the day-to-day game because voting is always great entertainment and fanfare (sponsored by mainstream media). During the voting phase, television "news" overflows with hilarious, pompous pundits, flashy productions of candidate "debates", and slick, deceptive, endlessly-repeating, 30-second political ads--all completely substance free for our entertainment pleasure.

After voting, the fans go back to simply watching the game being played. But unlike the voting phase, where the fans only pretend to participate, in the day-to-day playing of the game, the fans are true participants. In fact, the fans are the main participants since they are ultimately the source of the owners' big profits.

1.0 Teams

- Advertisement -

There shall be (only) two competing teams designated Republicans and Democrats. The two teams shall work together to prevent the organization of any independent teams that might work for the benefit of the fans instead of the owners.

2.0 Ostensible Object of the Game

Using honest debate, the two teams shall compete to see which team can pass the most laws that benefit the most fans (the source of the game's big profits).

2.0.1 Actual Object of the Game

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3

 

- Advertisement -

Must Read 3   Well Said 3   Funny 3  
Rate It | View Ratings

Carmen Yarrusso Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Carmen Yarrusso, a software engineer for 35 years, designed and modified computer operating systems (including Internet software). He has a BS in physics and studied game theory and formal logic during his years with the math department at (more...)
 
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Wikiarguments: A practical plan to get big money out of politics

Why single-payer is the ONLY sensible health care reform (explained in plain English)

A Manifesto for the Impending Second American Revolution

Why a peaceful, people's revolution is the only way to take back our government

Satire: Study Concludes Americans Are the Stupidest People on the Planet

Top Ten Reasons to Legalize Marijuana Now