Don is "OK" with War or without It

Janus Reliquary Guardian Figure
(Image by Steve Snodgrass)   Details   DMCA

With war or without it Don said he's "OK."
I like my president flexible that way,
Not one of these guys who consults a dull panel,
Or cries "It's war!" while he works the back channel,
But coolly admits that each path has upsides,
Like choosing 'tween beers, college majors, or sides.
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The Iranians' trouble? They're unwilling to flex,
To take things with humor and without touchy vex.
The Brits take their ship and their prez gets all huffy,
Ayatollahs bug-eyed and faces all puffy.
It's only a ship, they've got more whence it came;
Like the kid who lost homework, they sound pretty lame.
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Their threats are a bore as are tit-for-tat plays,
Which take up more time and spoil the crews' days,
What'll the Brits do? Cut it up for cheap scrap?
Make it a fern bar or a house for dirt rap?
That's how wars start, see, when impatience reigns,
If Iran just chilled, they'd see reward for their pains.
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That's what Don means: just let things take their course,
Delegate out stuff, bet on more than one horse.
Wars come and go, yeah, they're a pain in the butt,
But they have some charm if your regime's in a rut,
They pick up your numbers and make you look great,
Put opponents to rout and help you lose weight.
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So Don is comfy watching how the wind blows,
Sweating Iran and watching how Wall Street rose,
The best June since Caesar, like a well-oiled machine,
An economy like no soul's ever seen,
So this business of war he takes not too serious,
Unlike Iran with their long-beards delirious.