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Death Becomes Her: Let's Make Her Our President

By       Message Jason Miller       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink

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Savage animal slaughterer that she is, it’s apt that Sarah Palin has now brutally plunged a razor-sharp knife into the very heart of the seemingly invincible doubts concerning her capacity to be Vice-President of the United States. Wielding her chutzpah with the awe-inspiring deftness with which she employs her gun or rifle when hunting defenseless wolves or moose, she appeared on 20/20 and left our skepticism writhing on the ground in agony, immersed in its own blood and gasping its last.

Given her virtuoso performance with Charlie Gibson a few nights ago, John McCain might as well croak now and get it over with. She’s ready for the presidency. All the cynics who dared to question her qualifications to become VP now have about as much credibility as card-carrying members of the Flat Earth Society.

Sarah Palin is the person we need (and deserve) to lead us on our incessant quest for global hegemony and in our ongoing orgiastic gang rape of the Earth. A former beauty pageant contestant noted for her fierce competitiveness who would easily qualify as a MILF in the pornography industry and who takes great pride in her capacity to stick her head up her ass and go for it instead of “blinking,” this “lipstick pitbull” embodies nearly all that we worship in a nation fueled principally by narcissism, arrogance, willful ignorance, and belligerence. She may lack the obscene wealth that also triggers our reflexive genuflection, but she will acquire that in time.

Like George Bush, who is demonstrably imbecilic and morally retarded, the “hockey mom” who “worked her way to the top with grit and determination,” also fuels the naïve, jejune notion that “anyone can be President of the United States because we live in a democracy.” Forget the pablum concocted to pacify the masses; the POTUS could actually be ‘anyone who hails from a family with direct ties to the power elite of our bourgeois democracy or who shares their sociopathic tendencies and is willing to sell their souls to do their bidding.’ But who amongst us wants to burden our atrophying minds attempting to understand complexities when the simplistic sweet little lies are so much more palatable and takes so few brain cells to process?

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As is befitting of a huntress extraordinaire, Palin provides an endless supply of red meat for the benighted, socially conservative American masses to devour with the ferocity of the hungry wolves she loves to annihilate:

*Life begins at conception.

*No abortion (including in rape and incest cases) unless it is necessary to save the life of the mother.

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*Abstinence only.

*Our war crimes and genocide in Iraq are God’s will.

*Cut government spending on socially beneficial programs but keep underwriting the squatters in Palestine and pumping obscene amounts of cash into our murderous military machine.

*Islamic extremists are “hell bent on destroying our nation.”

*Russia invaded Georgia “unprovoked” and war with the Russians is a viable option.

*Israel would be justified in launching a nuclear strike against Iran to preserve its “security.”

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*US military incursions into sovereign nations like Pakistan are necessary and permissible.

*Shooting any non-human animal that moves, asking questions later, devouring their flesh in a delectable stew, wearing their skins and furs, and mounting their heads on our walls as macabre “trophies” are our God-given rights as red-blooded Americans.

*The Alaskan wilderness, over which she presides, is a repository for OUR precious oil and we must “drill, baby, drill,” regardless of how many species we drive to extinction and how much damage we do to the environment.

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Jason Miller, Senior Editor and Founder of TPC, is a tenacious forty something vegan straight edge activist who lives in Kansas and who has a boundless passion for animal liberation and anti-capitalism. Addicted to reading and learning, he is mostly (more...)
 

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