Dancing With Clowns

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Just when you think it can't get any crazier ...

Rumors swirl of a virtual Ted Cruz harem, pouring gasoline on the bonfire that is their war of the wives.

And US forces have killed the #2 man in ISIS ... AGAIN! Yes, there must be a cloning machine working overtime in Damascus. This time it was Osama doppelganger Abd al-Rahman Mustafa al-Qaduli, the terrorist group's finance minister.

Damn, now who's going to sign the suicide bomber's paychecks?

President Obama has come under fire for his apparent blase attitude toward the Belgian terror attacks. He upset the Neocons by remaining in Cuba following the attacks. Okay. Not to be a freak, but this was the first time a US president had visited Cuba in over 60 years. This is the second ISIS attack in six months. Of course it's important, but what could the president have done stateside? He probably should've skipped the Tango dancing. But that was just a bad idea under any circumstances.

And we wrap up Holy Week this Good Friday with some parables from the good book, or at least from Huffington Post. The Post attempts to explain why Christian fundies in North Carolina need to peek in our panties to make sure we are peeing into the correct gender-specific pots:

"This Wednesday, North Carolina passed the most dangerous piece of anti-LGBT legislation in the country, restricting cities from passing nondiscrimination laws and preventing trans people from using bathrooms that represents their gender identity. All of this has been done in the name of so-called 'religious freedom.'

"It was just moments after Skye Thompson, a transgender teen who shared his heart-aching testimony to the North Carolina legislature, that onlookers were able to see first-hand the religious-based bigotry surrounding this process. Skye talked about the bullying he has experienced during his life due to his gender identity and fear about what the now-passed North Carolina legislation would do to him in his everyday life. Moments later, John, a youth pastor in the chamber, uttered these words: 'I will be a homophobic bigot until the day that I die.'

"John believes scripture tells him there can only be male and female: 'If God didn't give you access to a male or female bathroom via your anatomy, neither should we give you access via ordinance or legislation.' This is wrong.

"Earlier that day John's office at the Christian Academy he works at received a phone call calling him a homophobic bigot. John embraces that title however, because he believes this bill is about protecting his family from sexual predators. John has every right to protect his family from sexual predators. We all do. Where John and the state of North Carolina are wrong is conflating sexual predators with the intention of this bill's objective to ensure that transgender people have a place to use the bathroom in public spaces.

"Charlotte, North Carolina passed an ordinance last month that allowed individuals to use public facilities that aligned with their gender identity. The win was short lived as North Carolinian senators vowed to pass legislation that repealed those rights. Last night, they succeed passing said legislation in a special assembly that cost taxpayers $42,000. The legislation not only repealed the rights gained by Charlotte's ordinance but also allows discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. It even goes further than affecting the LGBT community. This legislation eliminates recourse from anyone fired from their job based on race, religion, age, or ability.

"The worry, so many claimed, was that 'sexual predators' would use this law to enter bathrooms. There hasn't been a single instance of this actually happening. This 'bathroom predator' myth has been thoroughly debunked."

Oh stop it -- just stop it already with the poopie police. Transgendered predators in bathrooms? What? How does being born into the wrong gender magically make you a child molester?

If they really want to protect children from sexual predators the legislators would pass laws making it illegal for priests to be alone with children. Ever.