Ann Coulter's column was unusually shrill this morning. I'm normally not masochistic enough to indulge her hysterical fantasies, but she headlined two of my favorite people today (Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow) so I was intrigued.
The diatribe was the usual laundry list of ad hominem attacks on the principals; Oberman's "Guys and Dolls Suits, fustian grandiloquence and pompous idiocy" with a couple of low-blows to innocent bystanders Jacob Weisberg (107 pound weasel) and Markos Moulitsas (pint-sized). Apparently, size DOES matter a great deal to the anemic Coulter; can you say: "Horse Collar?".
Although the advertised gist of the article was the suggested "Teacher's Pet" status of Olberman and Maddow by virtue of their recent closed door meeting with President Obama; as evidenced by the sub-title: "Olberman, MSNBC part of 'teacher's pet media'", the rant went back several years to imagined wrongs done Jack Ryan relative to his divorce proceedings and even resurrected the Willie Horton fiasco with a gratuitous slap at the long-gone (politically) Michael Dukakis (...winner of the Brain Dead Liberal of the Year Award). In fact, fully a third of today's screed was devoted to a defense of America's maiden voyage into the Sea of Political Sleaze on the Mighty Ship USS Horton, Captained by Papa Bush with First Mate "Turdblossom" Rove at the helm.
Coulter caps the effort with an odd attack on Olberman's education, some thirty years past now, explaining that his current shortcomings are the direct result of his undergraduate choice of a "Communications Major". All too odd in view of the fact that her own tagline at the bottom of the article identifies her as a "Legal Affairs Correspondent". One wonders how her considerable matriculation in the legal arena has qualified her particularly in the arena of schoolyard name calling.
Methinks she doth protest too much. Ann is on record confessing a particular partiality to "dark swarthy men". This came, gratuitously, during one of her more detailed defenses against the charge of an anti-middle eastern bias. Could it be that SHE secretly pines for an oh-so-private tete'-a-tete' with the President? Her appetite as a man-eater is legend, her preference a matter of record. Could all this be just plain old garden variety jealousy? Could she really in her heart of hearts; no scratch that, this is Ann Coulter... Could she really somewhere in her ginormous netherparts be secretly wishing she could break herself off a piece of that Hopey? Well, if that's so, you go girl! As a heterosexual male, I can frankly say it's about time we had a President with sex appeal again; its about time!
Of course, it had to be a Democrat.