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Confessions from the (Hotel) Room Next Door

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opednews.com Headlined to H4 12/30/09

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I can smell and hear a room service trolley from two floors away. Why call, order and wait for something they are going to screw up anyway when I can just as easily pull the room service guy over like I'm the law, look under a couple of domes as if I'm performing a search and seizure, palm him a 20, scribble someone else's signature on the bill, tell him to drive more carefully and get my hunger out of the way?

So I was munching on my stolen or hijacked if your prefer club sandwich and going over some materials in preparation for a meeting while listening to the couple in the room next door having really loud, hot sex. Or an argument. Or maybe one of those wild combinations of both. It all sounds the same to me, except for the part where I heard "I'm Wolf Blitzer and you're in the situation room!"

My ears perked up immediately as I heard the following exchange coming through the wall (I'll admit it; I listened intently with my ear cupped to it using an old diaphragm that I carry around to make me feel young like I'm not invisible):

"Stop!" and "No!" she screamed (many times over) with increasing volume and intensity.

"I thought you liked this!" he exclaimed, either obviously frustrated by this woman's limited vocabulary or the fact that I was eating the (very delicious) club sandwich he had ordered that he was never going to see.

"No, I can't take it anymore" she pleaded like someone who really couldn't take it anymore.

"How about this?" he asked like a seven year old who tries to show you the same thing three times and hopes you don't notice he's trying to show you the same thing three times.

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Patricia A. Smith is a writer and artist (and sometimes both at the same time). A former columnist, restaurant critic and cruise line executive, Smith has lived in London, Greece, Denmark, Hungary, Egypt, Costa Rica and France. She returned (more...)
 

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