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Christmas with Covid -- Maybe

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Christmas dress
Christmas dress
(Image by kevin dooley)
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Do I have Covid? A scintillating thought,
From just before Christmas in shopping spree caught,
And now my throat's scratchy and my credit card's maxed,
Next week I'll start dyin', my bank credit axed,
Which is roughly the same in this day and age,
For death and flat broke are the two sides of same page.
Should I have one of those cantankerous tests,
The one where they poke up to where your brain rests?
Many a time have I on the news seen it,
Since cameramen love the sublime and the scenic,
But really do I need to go all that far,
To find I'm a neg' and but for the course par?
That's not my style, fans, that's not what I do:
I'm one of these guys whose cool ranks with the few,
I'll finesse it, degrade it, keep it arm's-length,
Take zinc and kryptonite to keep it half-strength,
And if it rises to emergency state,
I'll explain to the masses it's something I ate.
It's most likely nothing, this cough and hot head,
Nothing not cured by good rum and warm bed.
This Covid stuff, it's never knocked on my door,
And tomorrow I've got folks coming at four,
To tell them what? Our Christmas turk's been locked down?
And risk my mother-in-law's cheesy sad frown?
Fate worse that death, that is, to hand her a win,
And what joy to see her in full Covid spin,
So for her a big kiss and extra-warm hug,
That she might go home fully fed and with bug.
Yeah, Covid politics requires a fine touch:
Now we're all jabbed, you don't concern overmuch.

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"A Legacy of Chains and Other Stories" is Philip Kraske's lastest book. It can be found at his website:

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