In his groundbreaking speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner, President Obama finally revealed several secrets that the public has suspected since the beginning of his first campaign. In his own words, "I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist I used to be."
Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, said, "See I told you so. He's had the Muslim Brotherhood telling him what to do since he got in office. And you all thought I was just another crazy whacko nut job. Now you know for sure."
Senator Mitch McConnell, Republican Senate Minority leader from Kentucky was quoted as saying, "There is no question, the job has worn him down to the point where his defenses are low and he's finally telling the truth. We've suspected his Muslim leanings all along. Now we know he is one. This calls for an end to all the cooperation he's been receiving since he took office."
Speaker of the House, John Boehner added, "It's a real shame because we have tried everything we can to make his life a little easier and it has come to this and this is how he repays our efforts. What a sorry day for America."
His new found honesty was really apparent when he admitted that, although he wanted to build his Presidential library in the country of his birth, he decided America, his second choice, would be the place. Donald Trump, although admitting that he felt vindicated, refused to comment.
But the most astounding revelation was Steven Spielberg's claim that Mr. Obama is really not who he says he is. The most important voices on the extreme Christian right have been saying this for years. Finally, the truth.
Spielberg admitted collusion in a charade of breathtaking proportions; the man we think is this president is really Daniel Day Lewis. One could hear a sigh of relief from the Republicans in the audience. The relief was palpable. When they realized that a Black man isn't really sleeping in the Whitehouse the Republicans loosened up and began to laugh at Mr. Day Lewis's jokes.
On a less important, yet interesting tangent, it was revealed that Joe Biden is being played by Tracy Morgan with the assistance of Spielberg's fabulous make-up team.
Finally, when President Obama pointed out that the Republicans needed to reach out to minorities, he embarrassed himself and the entire audience when he asked to be first in line. Disgraceful! But what do you expect from an anti- colonialist Kenyan minority?
Ending on a positive note, Paul Ryan, R- Wisconsin, was quoted as saying, "It's about time. I'm tired of being the only person in Washington telling the truth. What a relief!"
Robert De Filippis