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General News    H4'ed 3/1/22

BONUS REACTIONARY POEM: Ukraine's Heroic Zelensky Unites Divided Americans Against Putin

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Volodymyr Zelensky - Caricature
Volodymyr Zelensky - Caricature
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Ukraine's Heroic Zelensky Unites Divided Americans Against Putin

by John Kendall Hawkins


Servant of our people

master of our plan -- finally!

a comedian who can get some work done around here

who can be a slickless anti-oligarchic scourge

and still hold hidden offshore accounts leaked from pandora's box

a real balance of power and pithiness man

a Jew not even Karma-la Harris would dare convict of fraud

at night he's said to do the Yeltsin shuffle

and has dreams he's wild bill riding horses in snowy buffle

he'll be at a podiurm at the White House with Uncle Joe soon

cracking up Pop Corn, talking smack about Corn Pop Putin

to celebrate they'll blow up that innocent Sudanese pharmacy again

just because they can

when the Russians meddled with our erections

(Guccifer devils oooh)

I'll bet they didn't see this coming



next up, we wipe the inscrutable smile off Xi's face

we'll clash his civilization so hard

he'll be disoriented and pimp Wall segments to peeing MAGA dogs

we'll make him buy our goods and bads and uglies

(there's a list of Un-American algorithmic activities gathered)

and pay him off in oxycontin pills he can't refuse

and push him to war and when he comes at us -- wahhh! --

we'll shanghai him, go bucky bucky beaver we don't give a damn

we're bringin it all back home, as the Dulutheran Bard says

and I, for one, whoever I am, am glad to be home again, but that's just me

world conquered, world weary, atlas freshly out of shrug

like Yaz on his final victory lap around Fenway

even the beer was crying to think that

and aliens high up above us asking

through a bullhorn we hear in our heads

you done with that dumpling?

meaning the planet

their mandibles like chopsticks pincering

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John Kendall Hawkins is an American ex-pat freelance journalist and poet currently residing in Oceania.

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