Nomination for OMG of the month, or season: did you know
that Herman Cain wrote a book?
Nah, not that: of course he reads, at least pizza recipes. Drum roll, please. The title of Cain's impassioned plea,
penned (or ghostwritten) after his failed "04 GA senate run, is: "They Think
You're Stupid: Why Democrats Lost Your Vote and What Republicans Must Do to
Keep It." "They"? "It"? "Who the hell
is they?" as a great movie asked.
What pizza putz came up with that brand name?
First off, Herman, rousing, self-serving entreaties don't start with the vague, "They," then proceed to the vaguer vacuity of "stupid." Do you mean 1) uneducated and ill-informed (item: Tea Party) or 2) dense, incapable of learning (as in dumbo estupido). This bonehead lead qualifies as titular malfeasance, whether to start an essay, a hallowed proclamation, or a note to your plumber. But it's telling.
Now competing hard for the Palin-Bachmann-Perry Prize for Dumbed-down Demagoguery, Cain just reinforced his contempt for education with this jaw-dropper: "We need leaders, not readers." Okay, you missed the ten Libya memos, sounding like an ass, but what about our 50 year, 50 state "Reading is Fundamental" crusade, plus the billions of universal support (a.k.a. education funding) you now shred. Write off every teacher in America, cringing your motto fits a bullying street gang better than any class room. Only losers read, apparently.
You just can't keep a good ignoramus down. The unquestioned linkage between reading and leadership, or knowledge with vision, escaped this can't-idate, covering up foreign policy bluffs with another howler, "I'm not supposed to know anything about foreign policy." War in Libya, after all, was in all the papers -- along with that notorious Kadafi family -- oh, never mind. With Palinesque obtuseness, Cain shows he also missed those lessons about deflecting questions for which he has not a clue, instead blurting out, "I got all this stuff twirling around in my head."
Now, boys and girls, doesn't "stuff swirling" in an empty head capture the Cain, Bachmann, Perry display to a tee. My obvious retort, beyond incredulity, answers Cain's irony-laden title: "They (the world) no longer think you're stupid. We who dare read know, repeatedly confirmed by multiple cringe-worthy gaffes. Like Perry, Cain is so overwhelmingly under-informed he fetishizes not knowing, using this same tack to ward off sexual allegations: "I remember nothing so four women must be lying." True, Palin didn't know anything either, but she boasted about perusing books, newspapers and journals. That's the ticket, Herman, sure to make you our second black president -- rail against reading and equate leadership with illiteracy.
Study his '05 opus, and the irony mounts, for Cain assaults the "politics of politics" by which officials advance their "campaign war chest and his or her political career," rather than "find solutions to the biggest issues that confront us." Oh my, like your idiotic 9-9-9 tax delusion, a total non-solution rife with grandstanding? How about electrified immigration fences? Further, Cain declares that "businessmen place results ahead of politics. Politicians place politics ahead of results." If real-world results dictated your action, you'd be gone, finally getting that ignorance about governance + lying about sexual assault = disaster. Bye, bye.
A Confederacy of Dunces