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A Patch Of Pumpkin Heads

By       Message Walter Brasch       (Page 1 of 3 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   5 comments

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by Walter Brasch

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In a few days, millions of children will put on costumes, go door to door, and shout "trick or treat." By Nov. 1, it'll be over.

 

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But, it won't be over for Americans who will face presidential candidates for the next year. The candidates will continue to try to mask their true selves, while luring us with treats that disguise tricks. Let's see what each of the candidates might be wearing for the coming year.

 

President Obama could dress as a stable boy. Since his first day on the job, he's had to shovel whatever it is that was left for him in the stable. His opponents, however, think he should dress up as Pinocchio, with an exceptionally long wooden nose, and carrying a hammer and sickle.

 

Rick Santorum had begun fading away after he was trounced in a Senate re-election campaign in Pennsylvania, too reactionary even for the Republicans. Wrap him in bandages as the Invisible Candidate.

 

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The other Rick in the race is Perry. For awhile, he was the leader of the pack until the other candidates ganged up on him. Moderates thought he was too reactionary; the extreme right-wing thought he was too liberal. Dress him in a helmet, black leather jacket, and jeans, etch a few tattoos onto his body, and have him encased by a sandwich board. For a few brief shiny moments, he was everything that Camelot wasn't.

 

The current front-runner is Herman Cain, whose mask is a cloth pizza slice, cut to the 9's. But since he'll be a passing pizza, as the Republican voters love and unlove their front runners, perhaps he could also wear a half-eaten slice with a red bull's eye on his back.

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Walter Brasch is an award-winning journalist and professor of journalism emeritus. His current books are Before the First Snow: Stories from the Revolution , America's Unpatriotic Acts: The Federal Government's Violation of (more...)
 

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