This evening, Passover begins and at Passover tables, the story of Passover will be told in millions of homes. Here's a slightly different version, with a 99 percenter perspective.
It's a story about an oligarch (pharaoh) who has enslaved a people for generations. This Oligarch is such a narcissist he has massive edifices built by thousands of nine-nine percenters, for his gravesite to commemorate him even after he is gone. Many nine-nine percenters die to build these stone tributes to self-worship.
The passover story tells us how A man comes to demand the slaves be freed. "Let my people go," he demands. The oligarch laughs and tells his magicians to make a mockery of him. They do with a phallic pissing contest-- turning staffs (like tall canes) into snakes. The guy who has come to free the slaves puts out magic with more mojo and his magic staff turns into a bigger snake, (think pissing contest) which eats the other staffs. Okay-- think whatever you want about that phallic turn.
Even the win at the pissing contest doesn't convince the Oligarch, who knows that anyone can buy better magic.
But after a time, Karma kicks the oligarch's and his flunkies and their subjugated people's asses, ultimately inflicting a miraculous series of plagues-- disgusting bloody rivers, massive invasions of pests, abnormal seasons of creepy animals.
The Karmic payback peaks with the mortal afflictions of the first born sons of the Oligarch and his enablers.
After the final straw, the Oligarch tells the slaves to get the f*ck out.
Without even giving themselves time for the bread in their ovens to rise, they get out of town, and find that the sea has opened for them to pass-- a miraculous shortcut.
The slaves are on their way. They believe they are headed to a new heaven on earth-- the land of milk and honey. But in a very short time it becomes clear that they are not ready. They don't deserve such a place. These newly freed slaves are thinking and living with the same values was the slave masters who dominated them for generations past-- embracing false gods, worshipping money and gold. So they are doomed to wander in the desert for two generations, until the old slave mentality and the vile, consumer, money, greed mentality dies away with the old generations. Not even the guy who freed the slaves gets to go to the promised land.
Finally, after waiting forty years, the slaves' children's children get to enter the promised land.
But there are some problems with this story.
First, the ultimate top-down hero-- God-- the Deus Ex Machina, as Aristotle criticized, even two plus millennia ago as being a very cheesy plot twist to end a story-- is given credit for saving the ninety-nine percenters. Clearly the teaching is not about how to become free if you use such a tired story plot device.
Interestingly, scientists have shown that pretty much all the miracles described in the Passover story-- usually read at Passover in the Haggadah, a special book to be read over the course of a very ritual meal-- all those miracles can be explained scientifically, including the parting of the sea-- apparently a tidal thing.
So, if these were not magical miracles, inflicted upon the Oligarch and his dupe minions, that would mean that the slaves, or their rescuer, Moses, or we might, to make the story more contemporary, call him Sheila, well, they did some re-framing. They took the natural occurrences and reframed them, sort of like right wing languaging expert Frank Luntz does, so they scared the hell out of the Oligarch and his people.
Now, let's fast forward a few millennia to now. We have a shitload of oligarchs and the rest of the people, the 99.9% are killing themselves trying to get by, working like slaves without getting ahead.
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