"Well yeah, but he must have had a good reason for it. I'm sure of it, a
nice guy like that wouldn't rob a place without good reason."
We loaded up the car and headed for the beach, I began putting beers in
the cooler stacking them around the shroom juice. We each opened a beer
and I rolled a joint and we were on our way. The trip was uneventful and
we made it into PC in the early afternoon and went straight to the
motel. When they saw us they double-checked to see if ours was a
confirmed reservation which had been secured by Wade's mother's credit
card. Theywould have turned us away, I'm sure, if the room hadn't been
prepaid. They told us our room wouldn't be ready until four o'clock, so
we headed for the beach.
We wrapped a six pack in a towel and watched the waves break and in an
hour or so we'd killed the six pack and smoked one more joint and were
ready to get cleaned up and begin to partying hard. Our room was small
with two small double beds, with a balcony overlooking the beach with a
wrought iron railing. The hotel had seen better days, stucco walls and
cratered mattresses that sloped into the middle. An ancient TV set with
Just out of curiosity, I turned on the TV to see what sort of programs
people could entertain themselves with while at the beach. What else,
fishing shows! So my curiosity picked, I turned on the old radio and got
nothing! Nothing, not even static, looking in the drawer of the
nightstand I found a Gideon Bible and tossed it over to Wade.
"You ever heard of this?" I asked,
"I've heard of it, but I refuse to worship a God who will throw his creatures
that he created out of paradise for the petty theft of fruit!"
So I asked Jim, "What about you Jim?"
He shook his headed no silently and then answered, "Mother Goose fairy stories"
"How about you Dave," Wade asked, "don't you believe in the big mumbo jumbo?"
"Oh yeah man, sure! I signed us up for the morning wake up service! I
mean God damn! A god that decides who gets buried where, according to
their church membership is a god to be praised! Even though the dead
don't give a sh*t where they're buried and they're only punishing the
grieving for the sins of dead. That will fill up some mother f*cking
church pews! You know it? But hear me oh heathen scum, for this book
hath added value in my life! I have come to depend upon it, its pliable
leatherette cover doth makes easy the separation of seeds
from leaf. It is God's way of telling us to smoke another joint!"
Out of discretion and having been in the room less an hour we left the
balcony and went back into the room to smoke the joint. We were talking
about where to eat supper when Wade starts to laugh, "You know it was a
f*cking apple right?
God so loved the world that he kicked us out of paradise over a f*cking apple! Right? What a dick!"
Jimmy answered, "It wasn't really the apple, but the concept of free will, doing what God had asked us to do."
"Yeah but, yeah but, yeah but you take this one for example." Wade
answered pointing at me. "You take this one for example, basically smart
enough, but if you tell him, don't do that! What's he going to do?
Before Jim could answer Wade continued, "You know damn well what he'll
do, he'll do the opposite! You know it and I know it! So what, am I,
smarter than God?"
"God wants us to rise above who we are." Jim answered as Wade doubled
over laughing. I'm a drunk mother f*cker tonight and tomorrow I shall be
"I don't think that's what God means" Jimmy answered.
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