I didn’t have to listen to my parents anymore because I could get away with doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted when I was a teenager. My parents especially my mother knew that and thus it created a very foul atmosphere often where she would reject being around me or talking to me because she knew I was playing her like a fool.
The system of discipline did not work out for me. It did not work out because I didn’t respect my family though. It failed because I questioned the reasoning behind certain reprimands and used to attempt to “out argue” my mother.
My father didn’t do too much discipline. And even when he did it involved yelling and that was that. Sometimes we had talks about what we could do differently. But I didn’t like those talks because they made me uncomfortable and a lot had to do with having to decide what discipline would be in the house. No kid wants to make that choice.
I had spankings up until grade school. They then transferred into going to your room. Going to my room usually helped solidify the rebel inside me. I used to devise ways to come out with the upper hand in the situation. I sometimes came around and agreed I did something wrong but it was not until high school that I started to really get what it meant to just let your parents advise you and take their advising without spitting all over it.
My grandparents would step in often and offer their opinion on my home life. This happened particularly often when I was dealing with my father choosing to leave my mom. I did not take that well and was rather stubborn when my dad chose to remarry. I still am stubborn. I sincerely reject that he left although in today’s society, it seems like he does have the right to abandon my mom.
The discipline my mom and dad carried out worked. I just cannot pinpoint what was effective. My mother’s constant raising of issues where I was erring in my judgment have helped and still help to this day. And that’s one way a parent can be successful---refuse to back down in your unconditional desire to make sure your child grows up to be a member that can function in society.
IX. The Tradition of Simple Enjoyments
I cannot deny the point made in the opening paragraph of this section of Ralph’s book because the most hilarious situations which have elicited bellyaching laughs have come from friends and family. Despite my love for film, no comedy will ever make me laugh as hard as I did when I was in high school or with family on vacations or at family gatherings.
I was referred to as “the class clown” in 5th grade during a parent-teacher conference by my teacher. That label did not stick to me throughout junior high and high school but it does indicate that I was always looking for enjoyment.
In group projects in front of class, I always wanted to go for the laugh. With friends, I always wanted to deliver that line that would get people to laugh. Through high school, my friends and I enjoyed countless times in the lunch room and class room laughing hysterically.
On family trips, we would pack into a van with my aunt and cousins to go to visit family in Minnesota or to Lake Tippecanoe where we had a trailer nearby for us to spend time together at. There was always fun to be had by sharing and talking on the trips to and from these places.
Family gatherings around Christmas and Thanksgiving as well as regularly throughout the year and especially summer were times to get together and hear stories. I enjoyed hearing adults talk about experiences and life in general. By high school, I was having fun spending time with adults in my family and rarely was I interested in playing with people my age in my family (although I did play with them sometimes and it was fun).
My family just informed me that there is a plan to go to North Carolina for a trip this summer. I am going along. I am already looking forward to it.
I went to South Africa and visited Cape Town, Johannesburg, and Durban almost one year ago. It was a phenomenal experience because of the sights and the people that I came in contact with on that trip.
Take that money you want to use to buy an IPhone, IPod, computer, stereo, plasma television, etc. and apply to going out and seeing the world with friends and family. Also, plan on interacting with those you run into on your adventure. It’s the only way to enjoy life.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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