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OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 8/2/14

A Successful "Negotiation" of Israel/Palestine Peace Treaty

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Message Bernard Weiner

MOISHE

I think we should stipulate that both peoples have history on their side. We have Biblical history for our claim to be here -- or at least we've chosen to believe that translation of the Torah -- and yes, many of your people got pushed out or felt they had to leave when we came in.

HESHIM

In other words, we each have right on our side, and we won't get bogged down in who did what first to whom. We stipulate that both peoples are victims.

MOISHE

And, we must admit that we both besmirched our causes, committed war crimes, went a little crazy in our zeal. Lost our way.

HESHIM

Yes, it's true. But at least for purposes of this negotiation, we will stipulate that old history doesn't count. We can't totally ignore it, but it will rest at the side of the table. There, but silent. Agreed?

MOISHE

Agreed.

(Silence. MOISHE is eating a tangerine and suddenly starts choking on pulp caught in his throat. HE eventually can't breathe and is clearly in distress. HESHIM comes up behind him and performs the Heimlich maneuver. The obstruction pops out of his mouth.)

MOISHE

(drinking some water) Thank you, Heshim. I couldn't breathe. Thank you, my friend.

HESHIM

I would have done it anyway. But I also owed you a big one, for getting my teenage son released from that Israeli prison.

MOISHE

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Bernard Weiner, Ph.D. in government & international relations, has taught at universities in California and Washington, worked for two decades as a writer-editor at the San Francisco Chronicle, and currently serves as co-editor of The Crisis Papers (more...)
 
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