Mystics realize this.
"I live now not I" = existential sense of mystic.
The "not I" part of this expression = loss of self.
The is-not-ness of the self.
Waiting is an essential part of mysticism -- "wait for the promise of my Father" -- "you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you" -- you do not do something; you receive.
Who am I?
See Nasrud-Din stories.
The mystic is the person who has awakened from the dream.
I cannot will, cannot command certain things in my life (e.g., happiness).