For Fox, the challenge would (as always) be to portray what had just happened as a colossal blunder and a harbinger of impeding doom for the United States.
Impossible, under the circumstances, you say? Anyone saying that, has been fooled again into expecting journalism from Fox and not being hip to the creative hysterically funny improv comedy they were watching.
Think about it. How could this fictional event be manipulated into sounding like a major gaff by President Obama?
If this columnist were the Managing Editor overseeing Fox's coverage of this imaginary event, here are three suggestions about how to spin it:
President Obama didn't use the correct wordage while reading the suspect his Miranda rights and thus "queered" the case and insured an inevitable mistrial.
In bragging about the arrest, Obama had tainted the jury pool in the entire USA thus making a fair trial impossible.
President Obama had planted the "bloody glove" evidence in his enthusiasm to get a conviction and, subsequently, some good lawyers would make sure that Osama got a "not guilty" verdict in a fair trial.
If Fox, had covered VE day and wanted to make it look bad, how would they have reported it? "Allied troops entered Berlin today, but the troops under the command of the Democratic Commander-in-chief let Germany's top war criminal disappear." See how easy that was?
How would Fox have reported VJ Day? Since they can have the writers dream up facts that are going to be sure laugh-getters, they could have said: "After missing Tokyo by several hundred miles and dropping their ordinance on the wrong town, one called Hiroshima, the Democrat Party led American forces lucked out, because that close call scared the crap out of Japan's Emperor. Unfortunately (more hypothetical alternative history here) the intelligence analysts couldn't immediate connect the dots involved in Japan's offer to surrender and the Democratic President approved a second atomic attack. Hey, Fox News has never promised you an unbiased report from the rose garden. Sure, they use the "fair and balanced" label, but have they ever claimed to be unbiased?
How long will it take for Democrats to figure this out? Don't many of TV's most famous comedy writers pick up some easy "freelance" money by submitting their best one-liners to Fox News?
Can anyone seriously contend that there will be any modicum of skepticism, on Fox, in 2012, when there is a (electronic voting machine generated) groundswell of enthusiasm for Jeb's run for President?
Charles Foster Kane (Orson Wells) said: "If the headline is big enough, it makes the news big enough."
Now, the disk jockey will play:
X-files theme music
Sheb Wooley's "Purple People Eater"
Buchanan and Goodman's "Flying Saucers" Part I and II
It's time for us to go get beamed up.
Have a "Klaatu barada nikto" type week.
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