JB: Is the book geared to women exclusively, Donna?
DK: No. It applies to anyone going through divorce. Many men struggle and feels as if, because they're male, they have to hold it together and, unlike most women, don't necessarily reach out for help. This can definitely get them on an even keel.
JB: An even keel is definitely something to aim for. And it may be the most we can aim for since I don't think divorce can ever, even in the best of circumstances, be painless. Any last thoughts you'd like to share before we wrap this up?
DK: I don't agree it may be the most we can aim for. Going through a divorce can demolish us, yes, but, as I share in the book, it can give someone an opportunity to design a life that is better than they ever imagined. Humans have the ability to look at life through a wide-angled lens. Only looking at life through a traumatic experience like divorce can bring us down. Yes, we can stay centered enough to survive and move on, but we can also look at what we want for our future and start making the necessary changes right now to create a life we love. I can attest to that.
What I encourage the reader to do is look for the extraordinary in the most difficult day. Look at the world around you. Louis Schwartzberg speaks of that in one of my favorite TED talks on Gratitude . Not only can you build an amazing life but appreciate what's around you...everything that's around you that isn't touched by your divorce; the people, your surroundings, a piece of music...all of it.
Just know that there are people all around you who are living a worse hell that what you think yours is right now. Reach out to them even with a smile, a nod, or a "hello" and get out of your own story even for a minute. The world is an extraordinary place if you open your eyes to it. And I suppose my last thought would be a wish for you all to live the best in life.
JB: Thanks for talking with me again, Donna. Best wishes to you as well. Readers: if you or anyone you care about is in the throes of divorce, direct them to So You Want to Get Divorced?. Whoever you are, man or woman, whatever your situation, it's a wonderful resource. Check it out!