Power of Story Send a Tweet        
OpEdNews Op Eds

Cheap Air Fares: Just Add Surcharges

By       Message Walter Brasch       (Page 4 of 4 pages) Become a premium member to see this article and all articles as one long page.     Permalink

Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags  Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com Headlined to H2 10/4/10

Become a Fan
  (52 fans)
- Advertisement -

"For what?!"

"According to our weight charts, you're 15 pounds overweight. We charge a dollar a pound."

"That's ridiculous," I said. "My physician says I'm within the normal weight range."

"Sir, I don't wish to argue with you, but according to our charts you're overweight. We can't have you slowing down our plane's speed because of your bulk."

- Advertisement -

"Who prepares these charts! The Society of Anorexic Actuaries?"

"No, sir," said the ticket agent proudly, we have only professionals. Last month, it was one of the women from 'Friends.' I think next month it'll be Nicole Richie."

"I assume if someone is underweight, you give them a refund?" It took her two minutes to stop laughing.

- Advertisement -

"Is there anything else you would like to make your flight more enjoyable?" she asked. "Seat belts, barf bags, headsets for music or an abridged and censored movie?"

I took one of each, and she began calculating the costs. " . . . And, finally, there's the gas surcharge, state, federal, cloud, and runway taxes--"

"I have to pay for the runway?!"

"You do want to land don't you?" She gave me the total. "Would you like a shot of oxygen with that?" she asked. I gave her two bucks more.


[Dr. Brasch's latest book is Sex and the Single Beer Can, a witty look at the mass media and American culture. It's available at amazon.com and other online stores.]

- Advertisement -

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3  |  4

 

- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com

Walter Brasch is an award-winning journalist and professor of journalism emeritus. His current books are Before the First Snow: Stories from the Revolution , America's Unpatriotic Acts: The Federal Government's Violation of (more...)
 

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon Share Author on Social Media   Go To Commenting

The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Twelve Angry White People: Jury Nullification in a Pennsylvania Coal Town

Baffled, Befuddled, and Bamboozled: Penn State Trustees and NCAA are Sinking

Truckin' to Treason: The Hot Air of Secession

Former OEN Managing Editor Files Lawsuit Against Philly Police, City. Charge: Constitutional Violations in Her Arrest

Keystone XL, Through Transcanada, Uses Eminent Domain to Seize Texan's Land

Rush to Judgment: Talk Radio's 'Truth Detector' Blows a Fuse--Again