And there is no replacement for being with a person; seeing, if we choose, who she or he really is, and thus, knowing if we are interested to continue pursuing the unknown.
I have become, in spite of the stranglehold of learned feminine politesse, someone who easily cuts the cord when the cord is newly introduced and even slightly mangled. This metaphorical cord may be a conversation that quickly evolves into someone asking to enter a personal realm. I have no problem with boundaries. In fact, I love boundaries, and teach the wisdom of having them.
Yet, having just emerged from a fresh Exhibit A of this somewhat ambiguous, certainly overwrought, scenario, I find a whiff of regret in the aftermath. No regret, at all, when the person is inappropriate.
Note: Whatever "inappropriate" means to you, if you feel it, take it seriously.
But what about when someone reaches out and is truly respectful, and yet, ends up revealing a desire to cross over to an intimate connection when I have no interest.
For me, it's simple.
If you want to sell me something, I'm not your audience.
There is no crossing my boundary.
A man from Athens, Greece, thinks I am beautiful--there's my clue-- and wants to send me a gift. A symbolic gift to join hands in Greekness.
Note: I am not a Facebook regular, yet I have warm alliances with people on FB who have become known to me and I to them over much time and sharing of thoughts. I appreciate the fierce smarts of some of them and enjoy checking in.
I have been unable to access my own website, www.drcherylpappas.com, for months. godaddy tells me they have zero ideas and can do nothing to help. I write for different news web sites, the Huffington Post, Opednews, and others, with Facebook also a place to post my writings, when the spirit moves me.
Back to my Athens FB "friend". He asks me to please send him my address, after a perfectly reasonable round of hellos. Turns out he wrote to me in February, and as is common for me, I never saw or read the messages.
He insists that the address I send him could be my business address, and that he is innocently moved to send a gift.
When someone I do not know on Facebook says that I am beautiful, I swiftly thank them and end the conversation. It happens in physical life often enough, and there's nothin' wrong with that!
I have no problem thanking someone for a compliment and swiftly demurring come-ons.
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